jokes jokes jokes

Sunshine

Helping All

10575 Points Joined March 2010

Ghajni in 2015...a child opens his tiffin box in the middle of the road...why???

coz he wanted to know whether is going to school or coming back..!!

interviewer : what is your qualification??

santa : LLKMP

interviewer: which degree is that??heard it for the 1st time...

Santa : latak latak ke matric pass..

Sunshine

Helping All

10575 Points Joined March 2010

Wife ka matlab kya hai????

answer : Shakti..

to fir husband ka matlab kya hai???

answer : Sehen Shakti...

Ghalib bank lootne gaya aur bola..: jiski kismat me jo hai wahi milega...

jiski kismat me jo hai wahi milega..

khabardaar !!!...koi apni jagah se nai hilega...

Sunshine

Helping All

10575 Points Joined March 2010

Papa: beta !!aaj teri mummy chup chap kyun baithi hai????

beta: mummy ne lip guard manga tha...maine fevicol pakda diya...

Manmohan ACA, CS

Chartered Accountant

14243 Points Joined February 2009

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'.
'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'

YUCKS!!!

Guest

Answering Service At The Mental Institute

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

Guest

Test your IQ with the question below:

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer...answer is at the bottom of the page........

I.Q. Test Answer......

He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

Guest

A salesman is driving toward home in northern Ontario when he sees an Indian thumbing for a ride on the side of the road.
As the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the Indian gets in.

After a bit of small talk, the Indian notices a brown bag on the front seat. "What's in bag?", the Indian asks the driver.

The driver says, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife."

The Indian is silent for a moment then says, "Good trade."

Ankur Garg

Company Secretary and Compliance Officer

114788 Points Joined January 2009

Worlds smallest resignation letter

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Dear Sir,

I Love Your Wife.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ankur Garg

Company Secretary and Compliance Officer

114788 Points Joined January 2009

PJ TIME

Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette.

You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?

Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette

another deadly answer. Scroll down a little

....

.....

....

Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down.

....

Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee."

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".

....

If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down

Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"

Ankur Garg

Company Secretary and Compliance Officer

114788 Points Joined January 2009

Love: One of the hardest thing because you have thoughts that you can not express….

Exam: Still harder because you don’t have any thoughts but still you have to express…

Ankur Garg

Company Secretary and Compliance Officer

114788 Points Joined January 2009

NICE JOKES

Pappu Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala

Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi

Qun...

Qun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The

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Santa-Oye!what R U doing?

Banta-Recording this babys voice.

Santa-Why?

Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

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Wife: I hate the beggar who came yesterday!

Husband: Why??

Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book"How to

Cook"!!

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Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi

To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya

Aur Niche Likha

"COMING SOON"

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A man calls his wife through an !dea mobile.

But the cal goes to another woman.

They loved & got married.

Moral: an !dea can change ur wife

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Wht is similarity between Bill gates n me?

Don't know??

He never comes 2 my house and I never go 2 his house

EGO PROBLEMS U KNOW...

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A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client with a note "This Bill is one

year old"

He got his bill bak with a note that read"Happy Birthday!"

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SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?

FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.

SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke

hain.....answer bata ke jaa..

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Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying

Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone

without receiver

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Ek Aadmi Kabar Pe Baitha Tha ..Musafir Ne Pucha, "Darr Nahi Lagta?"

Aadmi- "Darne Ki Kya Baat Hai , Andar Garmi Lag Rahi Thi Thodi Der Bahar

Aa Gaya."

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Bin Laden's son was studing in an American school.

Teacher asked him, " I have 4 apples, how can I share it among 5

children"

He answerd, "KILL ONE"

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Waiter gives bill to Sardar

Sardar: "Take my card."

Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card.."

Sardar: "So what? U have writen outside

"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED"...

Ankur Garg

Company Secretary and Compliance Officer

114788 Points Joined January 2009

STORY CORNER

A WONDERFUL HINDI STORY_ANK

SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE AND LIFE

ENJOY YOUR COFFEE_ANKUR

WHOM TO BLAME_STORY

SWEETS AT MY DESK_A SAD BUT FUNNY LOVE STORY

A SMALL TOUCHING STORY

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE_MOM

IMPORTANCE OF WOMEN: WORTH A READ

IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL...... VERY FUNNY

GIFT FOR MOM__FUNNY

BEGGAR AND A MAN_STORY

VOTE CAREFULLY THIS YEAR--A SHORT FUNNY STORY

WHY FOURTH FINGER IS RING FINGER

A SMALL CONVERSATION_NICE ONE

HEART TOUCHING & AMAZING LOVE STORY...SALTY COFFEE

NICE & SMALL FUNNY STORY...

SHORT STORY_GOD AND A HOLY MAN

WHAT A BOSS? TRUE STORY_MUST READ

STORY_CLEVER BOY--NO CHANGE FOR A REWARD

OLD GHOST_FUNNY STORY

A SIMPLE GESTURE_STORY

DADDY DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY WITH ME--STORY TO THINK...

THE OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH

TOUCHING LIFE STORY.....

GREATNESS OF GANDHI JI...

GREATNESS OF GANDHI JI_REAL LIFE INCIDENT..

GREATNESS OF GANDHI JI_(3)

TRUST IN GOD ALWAYS !

A GLASS OF MILK_STORY

REAL INCIDENT_A MUST READ...

SOCRATES AND TRIPLE FILTER TEST...

SECOND WISH !!!

AROUND THE CORNER_A HEART TOUCHING ONE...

RESULTS OF POSITIVE ACTIONS...

TOUCHING & INSPIRATIONAL LIFE STORY.....

A SIMPLE GESTURE_INSPIRATIONAL ONE

THE MORAL IS SOMETHING RELATED TO US...

INSPIRATIONAL ONE: ACRES OF DIAMONDS

TAKE TIME_A MUST READ INSPIRATIONAL ONE

MUST READ_VERY INSPIRING-THE CARPENTER'S HOUSE

THIS IS WHAT WE CALL DEADLOCK

AMAZING FUNERAL...! OLD JOKE IN NEW STYLE

EMOTIONAL LOVE STORY_MUST READ

THE SKY IS NOT GOING TO FALL DOWN...

HAPPINESS ON HOLD_A MUST READ

A LITTLE PREACHY BUT GOOD....

TERRIFIC STORY: THE POWER OF YOUR ACTIONS

26/11 MUMBAI_REAL INCIDENT_A MUST READ...

CONFESSIONS OF A KID_FUNNY STORY...

SELF APPRAISAL_A FANTASTIC STORY

JUST FOR AN EXTRA BEDROOM-A WONDERFUL TOUCHING STORY..READ

TEST_TRY THIS ONE AND KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF...

INTELLIGENCE_VERY FUNNY INCIDENT

Ankur Garg

Company Secretary and Compliance Officer

114788 Points Joined January 2009

FUN SECTION

hehhehee...good ones.....thanks all for fun addition..lol

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