Have you ever told yourself?
- I am lazy and my failure in exam makes me depressed.
- I want to forget my past failure.
- I am not confident & my family is discouraging me and saying “Why don’t try other things?”
Failure is very painful (Aaagh!!!). The worst part is that no matter how much someone empathises, it just doesn’t subsides. It stays with you and it keeps pricking you. If you don’t manage it well, it could push you to do something stupid.
Here is the truth and how you should manage failure. And by the way, if you think failing in CA exams is your biggest pain, you are up for a big shock in life. I guarantee you will face tougher challenges and much worse failures.
Yes, once you qualify you can always look back and stock courage. So my biased suggestion is keep at it and I will do everything in my power to help you.
“Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn – John Maxwell”
I live by this statement. I love this statement and I am constantly trying to take action, make plans and working to execute. Let me tell you that there is fear when I do take actions, but I still do. I fail and I get up again, I nurse myself a bit (do something that makes you happy, I read a fiction, watch a TV show), I analyse where I went wrong and try again.
So let’s act:
1. To learn is NOT to FAIL
You have not failed, if you have learnt something from your failure.
So here is what you do:
1. Look at your failure objectively, unemotionally.
2. Get very specific about the reasons of your failure.
3. Write down every reason, whatever comes to mind, don’t filter it. It could be anything from bad study planning to laziness/procrastination to not studying at all.
4. Once you have identified all the reasons. (Remember, DO NOT LET YOUR BRAIN FILTER ANY REASON. We will discard many of it at later stage.)
5. Categorise your reasons into 2 Areas “Critical” & “Others”
6. Work on the ‘critical’ ones, one by one. Remember, little improvements are enough. Don’t try too hard.
That’s how simple it is.
Here is what you are going to find out. When you work on one cause (of your choice), other reasons will naturally wear out and you will see an overall improvement in your study plan. It’s a deliberate process, but it’s guaranteed one.
That is what you should look for, ——– deliberate and guaranteed!!
2. Reject your failure:
The opposite of “Depression” is NOT happiness, Its “Resilience” – Peter Kramer
Failure will push you to think you don’t deserve it. That may be partly true as well, but that isn’t a universal truth.
You may not deserve it now, but you always deserve it, if you are ready to work for it.
Accept that failure is part of the game but not the end game. Keep at it and tell yourself you deserve it. Stay hungry for it.
“You will never find a successful person who have never failed, but you will find who are average and never failed”
Change your attitude towards failure; tell yourself that it’s temporary. So, when do you exactly know that you have failed?
You fail when you quit. You fail when you NOT learn.
But let me assure you, It’s OK to FAIL. Take it from personal experience.
3. Approval of others is “BS” :
Here is my rule that I religiously follow. Never listen to people who give you general advice. Never listen to people who don’t identify with your problem. Never listen to people who don’t understand your problem.
Here is an example: – “Quit, I think it’s just too difficult, Do you know very few qualify this exam and some are still struggling after putting years in it”
Now here is your problem with such advice.
The people who tell you to quit, doesn’t trust your ability, when clearly you DO.
“I take offence with that, no matter how close that person with me”
He has not even identified my problem and he buys what he largely heard in the market. Here is the catch, if you talk to a qualified Chartered Accountant, he will never tell you to quit. He will or should tell you to work harder or something in those lines, but he will never say…
“O it’s undoable”
Why? ………………… Because he has done it.
Quoting a statistic, like people struggle through the Chartered accountancy exam for years, is not news to you. You know it. You want to do it, precisely because it’s difficult. It’s tough, hence high in value.
My request to you is “Please stay away from ‘Generic advice’. It’s like administering AIDS medicine to treat common cold”.
Here is what I want you to do…
I suggested a series of steps in point 1 above so:-
- I want you to take 30 minutes of you time and sit down with a pen and paper or open a blank word file (switch off internet) on your computer and write it.
- Next day come back at your list for another 30 minutes to modify/improve it.
Personally, I think dividing your time in 2 different days helps you reflect and process it and improve it.