Few marriage humors are enjoyable:
1> Quote on a mans T-shirt:
All women are devils...
But my wife is QUEEN of them!
2> सुख तो आपका पुण्य होगा उतना मिलेगा.....
लेकिन,
शांति तो आपकी घरवाली की इच्छा होगी उतनी ही मिलेगी!
3> बीवी: कोई आदमी चोरी करता है, उसे पछतावा होता है..
आपने कभी चोरी की है?
पति: 10 साल पहेले तेरा दिल चुराया था...
आज तक पछताता हु!!
4> Man was sent on earth to suffer...
Women was sent to make sure it happens!
5> अच्छी बीवी और चुड़ैल में क्या समानता है?
दोनों के बारे में बहुत सुना है, पर किसीने कभी देखा नहीं!!
6> A man asked for poison.
Chemist refused, since it required prescripttion.
He showed his Marriage Certificate.
Chemist: बस कर भाई, रुलाएगा क्या? बड़ी बोतल दू या छोटी?
7> डॉक्टर: ये 3 दांत कैसे टूटे?
मरीज़: जी, वो... बीवी ने लड्डू बनाये थे....
डॉक्टर: तो ना बोल देते!
मरीज़: तो तो पुरे 32 के 32 टूट जाते...!!!
8> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
And other is husband!
9> Husband & Wife always compromise.
Husband always admits that he is wrong, and wife agrees with him.
10> Husband & wife had a long argument.
Wife concluded: See dear; do you want to WIN or be HAPPY?
11> A man speaks 25000 words daily,
a woman speaks 30000 words.
Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000,
&
wife starts her quota of 30000 words!
12> बीवी: तुमने कभी सोचा, मेरी शादी किसी और से होती तो क्या होता?
पति: नहीं.... में कभी किसीका बूरा नहीं सोचता...!!
13> Boy: My dad is billionaire & 93-years old.
He will die soon.
Will you marry me?
Girl: NO.
A week later she became his step-mother.
Moral: Dont give ideas to girls.
14> समुन्दर से कहे दो अपनी लहेरो को समेट के रखे,
ज़िन्दगी में तूफान लाने के लिए घरवाली ही काफी है....
15> Two things in life are difficult to achieve:
(1) to plant your idea in someones head, &
(2) to plant somebodys money in your pocket.
* He who succeeds in the 1st, we call him TEACHER;
* He who succeeds in the 2nd, we call him GOVERNMENT;
* The one who succeeds in both, we call WIFE; &
* The one who fails in both, we call HUSBAND!
16> उसने कहा: मेरी बीवी तो स्वर्ग की अप्सरा है...
हमने कहा: खुशनसीब हो मेरे भाई,
मेरी तो जिंदा और जान-लेवा है...!!
17> संता: यार, में कुछ भी करता हु, मेरी बीवी बीच में आ जाती है...
बनता: यार, तु कार चला के देख..!
18> Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It Means-Worries Invited For Ever...
Wife: No; it means- With Idiot For Ever !!!
19> Three dolls in a mans Life:
(i) His Daughter: Barbie Doll
(ii) His Girlfriend: Baby Doll
(iii) His Wife: डामाडोल...!!!
20> No one teaches a volcano how to erupt...
No one teaches a tsunami how to arise
No one teaches a hurricane how to sway around...
No one teaches a man how to choose a wife
Natural Disasters just happen!!!
21> Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either or money or life...
The wives want both!
22> Searching these keywords on Google 'How to tackle wife?'
Google search result, 'Good day sir, Even we are searching'.
23> Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
24> Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.
Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!
25> Whisky is a brilliant invention
One double and you start feeling single again.
26> A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.
27> STILL PEOPLE WANT TO MARRY!!!
FULL FORM OF SHAADI "शादी"
S - शांति भंग
H - हिम्मत ख़तम
A - आजादी समाप्त
A - आराम हराम
D - दिमाग ख़राब
I - इंसान खलास..!
28> सरदार ने Airhostess से कहा: आपकी सूरत और आवाज़ बिलकुल मेरी बीवी जैसी है.
Airhostess ने एक तमाचा मार दिया...
सरदार: कमाल है; आदत भी वैसी ही है.!!!
29> बीवी: अगर में खो गयी, तो क्या करोगे??
संता: में निर्मल बाबा के पास जाऊंगा.
बीवी: तुम कितने अच्छे हो... क्या कहोगे उनसे?
संता: कहूँगा, बाबा, आप की कृपा हो गयी.!!!
30> पत्नी ने पति के गाल पे जोरदार तमाचा मार के मच्छर मार दिया.
पति गुस्से हो गया...
पत्नी: जो खून मुझे पीना है, वो कोई दूसरा पी जाए, तो कैसे चलेगा?!
31> American: In India, do you guys call your wives HONEY in your native language?
Indian: Oh no; we call them BEE-BEE they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE
.....keep sharing
CAclubindia
