Marriage humors just for fun (dnt take seriously)

Humour 2635 views 14 replies

Guest

Few marriage humors are enjoyable:

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1> Quote on a mans T-shirt:

All women are devils...

But my wife is QUEEN of them!

2> सुख तो आपका पुण्य होगा उतना मिलेगा.....

लेकिन,

शांति तो आपकी घरवाली की इच्छा होगी उतनी ही मिलेगी!

3> बीवी: कोई आदमी चोरी करता है, उसे पछतावा होता है..

आपने कभी चोरी की है?

पति: 10 साल पहेले तेरा दिल चुराया था...

आज तक पछताता हु!!

4> Man was sent on earth to suffer...

Women was sent to make sure it happens!

5> अच्छी बीवी और चुड़ैल में क्या समानता है?

दोनों के बारे में बहुत सुना है, पर किसीने कभी देखा नहीं!!

6> A man asked for poison.

Chemist refused, since it required prescripttion.

He showed his Marriage Certificate.

Chemist: बस कर भाई, रुलाएगा क्या? बड़ी बोतल दू या छोटी?

7> डॉक्टर: ये 3 दांत कैसे टूटे?

मरीज़: जी, वो... बीवी ने लड्डू बनाये थे....

डॉक्टर: तो ना बोल देते!

मरीज़: तो तो पुरे 32 के 32 टूट जाते...!!!

8> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,

And other is husband!

9> Husband & Wife always compromise.

Husband always admits that he is wrong, and wife agrees with him.

10> Husband & wife had a long argument.

Wife concluded: See dear; do you want to WIN or be HAPPY?

11> A man speaks 25000 words daily,

a woman speaks 30000 words.

Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000,

wife starts her quota of 30000 words!

12> बीवी: तुमने कभी सोचा, मेरी शादी किसी और से होती तो क्या होता?

पति: नहीं.... में कभी किसीका बूरा नहीं सोचता...!!

13> Boy: My dad is billionaire & 93-years old.

He will die soon.

Will you marry me?

Girl: NO.

A week later she became his step-mother.

Moral: Dont give ideas to girls.

14> समुन्दर से कहे दो अपनी लहेरो को समेट के रखे,

ज़िन्दगी में तूफान लाने के लिए घरवाली ही काफी है....

15> Two things in life are difficult to achieve:

(1) to plant your idea in someones head, &

(2) to plant somebodys money in your pocket.

* He who succeeds in the 1st, we call him TEACHER;

* He who succeeds in the 2nd, we call him GOVERNMENT;

* The one who succeeds in both, we call WIFE; &

* The one who fails in both, we call HUSBAND!

16> उसने कहा: मेरी बीवी तो स्वर्ग की अप्सरा है...

हमने कहा: खुशनसीब हो मेरे भाई,

मेरी तो जिंदा और जान-लेवा है...!!

17> संता: यार, में कुछ भी करता हु, मेरी बीवी बीच में आ जाती है...

बनता: यार, तु कार चला के देख..!

18> Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It Means-Worries Invited For Ever...

Wife: No; it means- With Idiot For Ever !!!

19> Three dolls in a mans Life:

(i) His Daughter: Barbie Doll

(ii) His Girlfriend: Baby Doll

(iii) His Wife: डामाडोल...!!!

20> No one teaches a volcano how to erupt...

No one teaches a tsunami how to arise

No one teaches a hurricane how to sway around...

No one teaches a man how to choose a wife

Natural Disasters just happen!!!

21> Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?

The mafia wants either or money or life...

The wives want both!

22> Searching these keywords on Google 'How to tackle wife?'

Google search result, 'Good day sir, Even we are searching'.

23> Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

24> Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.

Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!

25> Whisky is a brilliant invention

One double and you start feeling single again.

26> A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.

He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.

27> STILL PEOPLE WANT TO MARRY!!!

FULL FORM OF SHAADI "शादी"

S - शांति भंग

H - हिम्मत ख़तम

A - आजादी समाप्त

A - आराम हराम

D - दिमाग ख़राब

I - इंसान खलास..!

28> सरदार ने Airhostess से कहा: आपकी सूरत और आवाज़ बिलकुल मेरी बीवी जैसी है.

Airhostess ने एक तमाचा मार दिया...

सरदार: कमाल है; आदत भी वैसी ही है.!!!

29> बीवी: अगर में खो गयी, तो क्या करोगे??

संता: में निर्मल बाबा के पास जाऊंगा.

बीवी: तुम कितने अच्छे हो... क्या कहोगे उनसे?

संता: कहूँगा, बाबा, आप की कृपा हो गयी.!!!

30> पत्नी ने पति के गाल पे जोरदार तमाचा मार के मच्छर मार दिया.

पति गुस्से हो गया...

पत्नी: जो खून मुझे पीना है, वो कोई दूसरा पी जाए, तो कैसे चलेगा?!

31> American: In India, do you guys call your wives HONEY in your native language?

Indian: Oh no; we call them BEE-BEE they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE

Replies (14)

Guest

24> Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound

and never leaving the house for 5 years.

Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy

Seals himself!

Boy: My dad is billionaire & 93-years old.

He will die soon.

Will you marry me?

Girl: NO.

A week later she became his step-mother.

Moral: Dont give ideas to girls.

Girls dont go behind money.......

Marry dat guy who can give you all forms of love........

Note :- The above lines are strictly for unmarried girls, ( Married girls have no choice but to love their respective husband by hook or crook)

Guest

"American: In India, do you guys call your wives HONEY in your native language?

Indian: Oh no; we call them BEE-BEE they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE"

"A man speaks 25000 words daily,

a woman speaks 30000 words.

Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000,

wife starts her quota of 30000 words!"

( Ha ! Ha ! Nice humour ! Nehaji...)

kishore

STUDENT(IPCC)

867 Points Joined September 2009

Hello Neha mam pls dont post these type of humours even i too enjoyed but people who really respect Marriages and relations will hurt...and here there r both married and unmarried people... marrried peplecan enjoy but people who r really serious about marriage and relations they feel inconvinience

I dnt mean to hurt u..If I say any thng wrong am sorry

pls try to send some Good nd best examples of husband and wife stories, humours so tht we can enjoy that..

Budding Professional

B.Com CA & CS FINAL

1686 Points Joined October 2008

Meaning of Husband : Highly Useful Serviceman Booked for Addressing the Nonsense Demands and Desires

Wife : Wasteful Investment leading to Futile Expenditure

Just for fun..

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It Means-Worries Invited For Ever...

Read more at: /forum/marriage-humors-just-for-fun-dnt-take-seriously--211011.asp

Guest

Originally posted by : NEERAJ SINGH
	Meaning of Husband : Highly Useful Serviceman Booked for Addressing the Nonsense Demands and Desires Wife : Wasteful Investment leading to Futile Expenditure Just for fun..

Its the true fact!

Dont give too much importance to girls!

CS Ankur Srivastava

Company Secretary & Compliance Officer

17858 Points Joined November 2008

Very Funny Neha ji....

SAMIR KUMAR

CA FINAL(GR. I CLEARED) CFA (IND)

521 Points Joined June 2009

FIRST ONE IS AWESOME !

ADDING MORE SPICE TO THE ABOVE : -

PATI GALTI KARTA HAI,

PATNI GUSSA KARTI HAI,

PATI KEHTA HAI " SORRY "

PATNI GALTI KARTI HAI,

PATI GUSSA KARTA HAI,

PATNI RONE LAGTI HAI,

PATI KEHTA HAI " SORRY "

CA. Manish Chandarana

Practising CA

100 Points Joined October 2011

It is Really humouristic neha

Ajay Rajai

Tax Advocate (Consultant) I.T and Docume

705 Points Joined December 2010

good ones....some of them were very hilarious and enjoyable neha ji..

Henil Shah

Sr. Account Exicutive

200 Points Joined November 2009

Originally posted by : Neha Jain
	Few marriage humors are enjoyable: 1> Quote on a mans T-shirt: All women are devils... But my wife is QUEEN of them! 2> सुख तो आपका पुण्य होगा उतना मिलेगा..... लेकिन, शांति तो आपकी घरवाली की इच्छा होगी उतनी ही मिलेगी! 3> बीवी: कोई आदमी चोरी करता है, उसे पछतावा होता है.. आपने कभी चोरी की है? पति: 10 साल पहेले तेरा दिल चुराया था... आज तक पछताता हु!! 4> Man was sent on earth to suffer... Women was sent to make sure it happens! 5> अच्छी बीवी और चुड़ैल में क्या समानता है? दोनों के बारे में बहुत सुना है, पर किसीने कभी देखा नहीं!! 6> A man asked for poison. Chemist refused, since it required prescriptttion. He showed his Marriage Certificate. Chemist: बस कर भाई, रुलाएगा क्या? बड़ी बोतल दू या छोटी? 7> डॉक्टर: ये 3 दांत कैसे टूटे? मरीज़: जी, वो... बीवी ने लड्डू बनाये थे.... डॉक्टर: तो ना बोल देते! मरीज़: तो तो पुरे 32 के 32 टूट जाते...!!! 8> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, And other is husband! 9> Husband & Wife always compromise. Husband always admits that he is wrong, and wife agrees with him. 10> Husband & wife had a long argument. Wife concluded: See dear; do you want to WIN or be HAPPY? 11> A man speaks 25000 words daily, a woman speaks 30000 words. Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000, & wife starts her quota of 30000 words! 12> बीवी: तुमने कभी सोचा, मेरी शादी किसी और से होती तो क्या होता? पति: नहीं.... में कभी किसीका बूरा नहीं सोचता...!! 13> Boy: My dad is billionaire & 93-years old. He will die soon. Will you marry me? Girl: NO. A week later she became his step-mother. Moral: Dont give ideas to girls. 14> समुन्दर से कहे दो अपनी लहेरो को समेट के रखे, ज़िन्दगी में तूफान लाने के लिए घरवाली ही काफी है.... 15> Two things in life are difficult to achieve: (1) to plant your idea in someones head, & (2) to plant somebodys money in your pocket. * He who succeeds in the 1st, we call him TEACHER; * He who succeeds in the 2nd, we call him GOVERNMENT; * The one who succeeds in both, we call WIFE; & * The one who fails in both, we call HUSBAND! 16> उसने कहा: मेरी बीवी तो स्वर्ग की अप्सरा है... हमने कहा: खुशनसीब हो मेरे भाई, मेरी तो जिंदा और जान-लेवा है...!! 17> संता: यार, में कुछ भी करता हु, मेरी बीवी बीच में आ जाती है... बनता: यार, तु कार चला के देख..! 18> Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It Means-Worries Invited For Ever... Wife: No; it means- With Idiot For Ever !!! 19> Three dolls in a mans Life: (i) His Daughter: Barbie Doll (ii) His Girlfriend: Baby Doll (iii) His Wife: डामाडोल...!!! 20> No one teaches a volcano how to erupt... No one teaches a tsunami how to arise No one teaches a hurricane how to sway around... No one teaches a man how to choose a wife Natural Disasters just happen!!! 21> Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either or money or life... The wives want both! 22> Searching these keywords on Google 'How to tackle wife?' Google search result, 'Good day sir, Even we are searching'. 23> Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego! 24> Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years. Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself! 25> Whisky is a brilliant invention One double and you start feeling single again. 26> A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married. He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs. 27> STILL PEOPLE WANT TO MARRY!!! FULL FORM OF SHAADI "शादी" S - शांति भंग H - हिम्मत ख़तम A - आजादी समाप्त A - आराम हराम D - दिमाग ख़राब I - इंसान खलास..! 28> सरदार ने Airhostess से कहा: आपकी सूरत और आवाज़ बिलकुल मेरी बीवी जैसी है. Airhostess ने एक तमाचा मार दिया... सरदार: कमाल है; आदत भी वैसी ही है.!!! 29> बीवी: अगर में खो गयी, तो क्या करोगे?? संता: में निर्मल बाबा के पास जाऊंगा. बीवी: तुम कितने अच्छे हो... क्या कहोगे उनसे? संता: कहूँगा, बाबा, आप की कृपा हो गयी.!!! 30> पत्नी ने पति के गाल पे जोरदार तमाचा मार के मच्छर मार दिया. पति गुस्से हो गया... पत्नी: जो खून मुझे पीना है, वो कोई दूसरा पी जाए, तो कैसे चलेगा?! 31> American: In India, do you guys call your wives HONEY in your native language? Indian: Oh no; we call them BEE-BEE they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE

Reallu enjoyable post...

Henil Shah

Sr. Account Exicutive

200 Points Joined November 2009

Originally posted by : SAMIR KUMAR
	FIRST ONE IS AWESOME ! ADDING MORE SPICE TO THE ABOVE : - PATI GALTI KARTA HAI, PATNI GUSSA KARTI HAI, PATI KEHTA HAI " SORRY " PATNI GALTI KARTI HAI, PATI GUSSA KARTA HAI, PATNI RONE LAGTI HAI, PATI KEHTA HAI " SORRY "