Who are you Self or Identity?
For those of you who intend to fall in one of the categories let me explain you by stating that both the self and the Identity stays inside each of our body, you may name it as brain, mind, feelings, emotions, moods, self conscious mind etc. From last many years I have been fighting to be the self but let me confess it is the Identity who has won most of the times. I may have achieved few degrees, good amount of money, miniature fame among friends but it is identity which has done most of the work and not the self. When I reflect back upon my life, I dont see much that I can boost about that I have achieved by going out of way.
Identity is a combination of your negatives traits, positives traits, things you are strong at, things your fear, in short it is your limited world in which you leave in, wherein Self in retrospect is nothing it is what you say, it starts from nothing, it does not have any past or feelings, emotions anything. Somebody once very profoundly made a statement saying You have feelings but you are not your feelings, you have emotions but you are not your emotions, you have all the good or bad in you but you are not that good or bad what you are is only self
Let me tell you some small game which I (Self) have lost and the identity has won, which I believe each won of us have played at some point or the other.
1. When I was studying I use to tell myself that I will start studying from tomorrow morning from 7 am, yet when the morning arise the following thoughts came to mind;
What if I wake up at 9 am will study two hours more (which in reality never happens)
Let me sleep today, its ok not to study for some hours, does not make a big difference
If I have a good sleep I will be able to concentrate more.
I would like each one of you to introspect did this really happens to you. The interesting game here is that the Self said I will wake up at 7 am but identity said its ok not to wake up at 7 am, the self again argued that I said I will wake up at 7 am but again the Identity said what if I wake at 9 am I am not going to fail in one day, but again for the last time the Self argued but I said I will wake up at 7 am but again the Identity said atleast you are pursuing CA and making efforts and look at your friends they are doing nothing, I am superior than them, I know how to handle time let me sleep and guess what happened the Identity won and the self lost, I woke up at 10 am and didnt study the entire day.
2. I work in as a manager in one of the growing CA firm and sometimes I dont go to the office just because I dont feel like, let me narrate the game that is played the entire day, In the morning I wake up before I (self) could say anything the identity says today let me take a rest you have worked enough over past some days, in reply the self says thats fine but today there is some important work that needs to be finished you need to go to office in reply the identity says so what, work can be done the next day as well no body is indispensible Kaam to hota hee rahega The self says you are the manger of the firm you got to take up responsibilities, without you the team would do nothing and sit idle, in reply the identity said managers dont have personal life or what the entire life you must think only about your company you cant think about your life also I have personal pending work to finish today let me take a day off and guess what happens the Identity won and the self lost, I didnt go to the office and all the pending personal work remained pending by the end of the day.
3. I like portrait, playing cricket and reading fiction and non fiction novels, yet I am not able to pursue any of them in last couple of years, the self says you like all this why dont you pursue it by taking some time from your personal or work life, the identity said it is time to grow in your career, forget the hobbies, the harder your work the more money you will get, people respect you if you have money, the Self said but life is not about only earning money, you should pursue your hobbies it gives you a purpose to life, in retrospect the identity said all this sounds good in books, it is somehow comfortable to cry in Mercedes than having to cry on a bicycle and guess what happens the Identity won and the self lost, till today I am not pursuing any of my hobbies.
behind giving all the examples is to reflect and inquire how many times in a day
the identity is winning and the self is losing, those who are present to the fact
that are two people playing a game inside each of us, life would be easy to control.
Somehow it is worthwhile to say that I will go to the moon on 22nd December 2008 and having to go there just because you said it
(On behalf of all the confused soul)
My First Article can be read on