DEDICATED TO ALL CS AND CS PURSUING

CS 1477 views 16 replies

Simranjeet Singh

Proprietor at S Simranjeet & Associates

4396 Points Joined October 2009

Funny (yet very interesting) on Company Secretaries, credits to the author. Just felt like sharing with CS friends throughout India. Life is all about the approach or view points, enjoy... & win the world!

Banner in front of the Institute of Company Secretaries of India ....

"Drive slowly, don't kill our students.... . leave them to us...."

What is CS?

Foundation-Alpenlibe- Ji lalchaye raha na jaye.

Intermdiate- Dimag ki batti jala de.

Trainee-Kinetic- Sabki hawa nikal de.

FINAL-Chlormint- Dubara mat poochna.

Membersip-jhoom barabar jhoom

We had many options to end our life
Poison, Sleeping pills, Hanging,
Jump from building, Sleep under a train..
But we choose the bravest... Education (CS).

Aansu aa jate hai aankho me rone se pehle,
Har khawab tut jata hai sone se pehle!
Kya hai CS ye to samajh gaye,
Kash koi rok leta admission hone se pehle.

Are you-
Emotionally Numb?
Romantically Starved?
Creatively Challenged?
Artistically Void?
Socially Outcast?
Congratulations You are a CS Student!!

Teacher: Osama has 5 wives and 20 Children,
Laloo has 1 wife and 9 children. Who is better?
CS Student: all are redundant......merge all u/s 391-394 of the Cos. Act, 1956.

SECRETARY
S-Special
E-Extra-ordinary
C-Calm
R-Royal
E-Enthusiastic
T-Talented
A-Awesome

R-Romantic

Y-Young

Irritating compliances, Fighting on complicated issues,
Everyday classes, Dangerous boss,
More expenditure, avg. stipend,
People call it Training, We call it LIFE.

CS on his death bed:
My wife, are you here?
"Yes dear"
My daughter, are you here?
"Yes dad"
My son, are you here?
"Yes dad"
MY TRAINEES, ARE YOU HERE?
"Yes SIR"
KAMiNO fir OFFICE me kaun hai...................aur mera corporate law ka gutkha??????????

Upcoming horror movies in CS:
-The Worthing Trainee
-Khatarnak syllabus
-B.L. ka badla
-2nd group ki pyas
-Khooni result (soon to be out on 25th august 2010 @ 12 noon)
-Wo aakhri attempt

-corporate governance(the mystery)

Kash koi "Exam Result" ka insurance kara deta,
To har exam ke pehle premium bharwa dete,
Pass hote to thik hai,
Varna insurance claim karva lete.

Ye India ka CS hai bidu,
40 mile to tali bidu,
Attempt lage to gali bidu,
Hua exempt to bole jhakhas,
39 lage to satyanash,
Pass ho to thaat hai,
Fail ho to vaat hai.

5 Years
50 Laws
500 Lectures
5000 Practicals
50000 Sections
500000 Rules
A normal human being can't bear it.
The remaining abnormals are called
COMPANY SECRETARIES ....

CS gaali de to kya dega?
Saale 383A ka non compliance,
SEBI ki penalty,
paidaishi subsidiary,
Undischarged Insolvent,
297 ke violation, 295 ke loan, 372A ki guarantee,
Itna marunga ki WINDING UP ho jayega.

Replies (16)

Ankur Garg

Company Secretary and Compliance Officer

114788 Points Joined January 2009

A Company Secretary to his wife

A Company Secretary to his wife, on returning from office.....

Husband : Hi Dear, mark my attendance.

Wife : You are too late.

Husband : No problem, I am ready to pay the additional fee.

Wife : Be serious, we had a plan to go for movie.

Husband : i know this matter can be taken at any other meeting.

Wife : I really have done a wrong by marrying you.

Husband : Yes, also you should know that it is an un-compoundable offence.

Wife : Lets finalize whether we should live together or be separated.

Husband : Don’t be silly; proxies are not allowed to speak.

Wife : Please, Leave me alone

Husband : No, I cant let the meeting conducted without quorum.

Wife : I will just be mad.

Husband : Contract with or by any Lunatic person is void ab initio.

Wife : I just want to go my father's house, take these keys of your house.

Husband : Presently, I dont have any buyback offer.

Wife : i just want to be separated from you.

Husband : You have to apply to the Court for demerger.

Wife : i think we both are unable to settle our disputes.

Husband : No problem, lets apply the court for voluntary winding up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!