Corporate - Jokes - I m the Boss

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The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.

Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:

'I'm the Boss!'

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that

said: 'Your wife called, she wants her sign back!'

New Employee

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. 'What is the meaning of this?' the director asked. 'When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held.'

'Well,' the young man replied, 'in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.'

Bosses Vs. workers

When I take a long time, I am slow.

When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don't do it, I am lazy.

When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.

When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.

When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers

When I do wrong, he never forgets.

Solution for late comers

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.

'Boss', he said, ' The pill actually worked!'

'That's all fine' said the boss, ' But where were you yesterday?'

HEY post ur feedback

Keep Smiling!!!!

Regards
 

Replies (12)

Nice Jokes..

Just Okay...

 Good Jokes

Rread earlier. Last one was new. Thanx

i must say one thing people really need/learn to realize the value of thanks. Very surprised to see that msg get a thumb up.  

 

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings
 
1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
 
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day  internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master.
4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
the biggest piece.
8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water-power.
9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody
disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt
before.
12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together.
18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist: An opportunist is a one who when find himself in hot water decides to take
a bath.
23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not
injured yet."
24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter
in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
29. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

 

any addition to the dictionary is welcomed

good 1

nice one friend.

Really Funny..

I just want to contribute mine. hope you will enjoy it..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Employee : Boss aap shadi shuda logon ko hi kyon naukri dete ho ?

Boss :  Kyon ki unhe pehle se hi gaaliya khane ki aadat hoti hain..

Nice Jokes

 

 

 

 

Good Hai..............................

Good One


CCI Pro

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