Your Personality- It can make you or break you

To start with, what is a personality?

• Is it your looks?
• Your qualities?
• How you talk?
• How you dress?
• How you behave?
• How you respond?
• How you do things?
• How you handle situations?
• How you treat others?
• Your humor?
• Your knowledge?
• Or something else?

It is none of this alone but a combination of all.

Don’t we say this many a times that - I like his/her personality a lot. There are times that we happen to like/dislike someone’s personality even if we don’t know him/her that well.

So what is it that makes us say so about someone we don’t know about?

It is a combination of the pointers mentioned above that makes us judge someone.

Personality has nothing to do with our possessions. Yes,they do contribute.

But ‘personality’ is a very wide term which includes and involves all that what deals with us as a whole.

A person with a good personality always gets some brownie points. Be it at the interviews, family functions and professional meetings or in our day- to- day lives, a vibrant personality always has an edge over others.

A good personality always gets you praises and people look up to you for advice. They believe in you. They know that yes if he/she has said something, there is at least some weightage in his/her words.

We must have always noticed that there are people who don’t have that a great knowledge of a particular subject. But just by the way they put across whatever little they know is called the ‘personality-benefit’.

What are the requisites for a good personality?Let us have a look!

Be your self

• First and foremost you need to be yourself.
• Each one of us has a unique personality.
• Each one has his/her own perfections and flaws.
• A good personality always demands being you.
• No matter what, there is no better self than you yourself.
• Being you is an indication that you love and respect yourself.
• If you are comfortable being you, people will start accepting you for who you are.
• Each personality is different and it’s certain that yours is a dynamic one indeed.Be yourself.

Example: If you are an introvert and take time to gel up. It’s completely okay to be so. In fact it’s more than enough if you can just speak the right things at the right places. Speaking the right thing is better than speaking too much.

Dress to impress

• Almost everyone of us must have at some or the other time heard this maxim called ‘Dress to impress’.
• Take an example of a function wherein you don’t know much people.
• Who would you like to go and talk to first?
• The one who is well-dressed and has put in effort in his grooming or the one who has just come up shabbily dressed and looks sleepy and not interested.
• Of course the first one right!
• There are various things to be taken care of in this regard-
• First, dress according to the occasion.
• Be comfortable in what you wear.

Example: There is nothing good about wearing perfect formals for a cricket match or turning up in some shiny jazzy attire for an office function.

Imagine someone entering the office on a Monday morning wearing a nice red hat just because it’s in trend and you have an executives meeting OR a young lady wearing stilettos for a sports function.

Doesn’t really serve the purpose right?

Because a red hat doesn’t compliment the office attire and stilettos are not meant for a sports event.

Second, you cannot dress great one day and too normal the other day.Make it a habit.

How we dress affects how we think and it does in its true sense affect our performance.

Because when we are comfortable with what we are wearing we can work with full concentration in whatever needs to be done.

Be opinionated

• Being opinionated means putting your ideas and views forward.
• This means that you should not shy away from speaking up.
• For this, you need to know your topic well.
• Again you need not be an expert at it.
• Being well informed about things and application of common sense is fairly enough.
• We all like people who are opinionated.
• Again there is a real big difference between being opinionated and being stubborn.
• Be informed, use your mind, speak up and believe in what you talk.
• Don’t be too stubborn. Be willing to change wherever need be.
• Respect others opinion.
• Have an opinion and make it known. Do not force it onto anyone.
• No one likes someone who keeps advising when not called for.

Example: How many of us like being around a person who keeps advising 24/7?

Be approachable

• Travel any place across the world or meet any number of people, the other person will not open up or disclose his/her true self to you unless you are easily approachable.
• Being approachable in simple words is being easy and friendly.
• Being too hard and full of yourself is not attractive.
• There are many topics to talk about in general whenever you meet someone you haven’t met before.

For example: When someone asks you your name at a seminar, just telling yours and sitting with hands folded is not what we call as being approachable.

• Ask the other person what his/her name is. Be cheerful.
• Ask where he/she works.
• What does he do or for that purpose, his views about the seminar topic.
• It isn’t really that hard.
• Don’t be over approachable.
• Don’t talk to each and everyone you come across because that’s not being approachable.

Example: Imagine yourself talking to everyone standing with you in the train.

Have a good sense of humor

• Who in the world doesn’t like a person with good humor!
• Be it any place or event, someone with a good humor is always noticed.
• People with good humor are remembered.
• They are the ‘stars’ of the group and they take the credit for doing nothing but just being funny.
• Humor includes it all- being sharp, witty, charming, funny and instant.
• Occasion and timing matters.
• There is no good in fooling around or being too funny in serious situations or at places which demand seriousness.

For an example: Imagine being funny at a hospital or a temple or being too ‘laugh- out- loud types’ at your interview.

Be generous

• Being generous means being unselfish, free to give, bountiful, open handed.
• Be willing to teach. Be willing to help and be available.
• Now by being available, it doesn’t mean that you should be too free and always so available that people start taking you for granted.
• Be there when needed and be there when it matters.
• Be free to help. Everyone is attracted to a generous personality.

Taking an example: In a train or a bus where we know none, when we see someone offering his seat to an elderly person out of his own will- we feel respect for that person.

Another example:When we see someone helping a stray animal or an injured bird- We feel respect.

Be outgoing

• No matter how knowledgeable you are, unless you speak up or put forth your ideas or apply your knowledge in your day-to-day activities, it hardly matters.
• You need to show what you have.
• It’s not about just knowing. It’s about showing that you know it at appropriate times that matters.
• Be out going.
• Be willing to change.
• Be willing to try new things.
• Be bold and adventurous and know when to stop.
• Sporty and outgoing people are charmers.
• We all like that one friend who does things out of the box, is adventurous and willing to try new things and just have fun.

Example: Don’t try jumping off a cliff because you want to do something different. Be rational.

Always be open to changes and learning new things in life.

Be honest

• Being honest is that one thing which no one can inculcate in you.
• You need to have it in you by your own will.
• Being honest comprises of various factors-
• Being honest to yourself - You cannot be honest to others if you are not to yourself.
• Being honest to others is second thing.
• Third is being honest at some times and not being one at others- There are people who choose to be true when its favorable o them.
• But when being honest doesn’t favor them, they don’t really regret being a little dishonest for their benefit.
• So there are many facets to being honest.
• It’s upto us to choose what’s right for us and for others.
• Don’t be too honest.

Example: At an interview, don’t go and tell that there was nothing else to do so you thought of working part-time. This honestly will not do you any favors.

Have a hobby

• Have a hobby. Pursue it. Constantly thrive to get better at it.
• It cannot be called a hobby if it doesn’t give you happiness.
• Hobby is something which makes us happy.
• It can be anything.
• Be it gardening, playing a guitar, reading a book, drawing a sketch or anything that gives you inner happiness.
• You need not try hard for it.
• There is no stress.
• You need not be an expert at it.
• If it gives you happiness, pursue it.
• Just do it anyway and excel it if possible.
• Go slow but be consistent and gradually increase the commitment or time you dedicate your hobby.

For example: If you love gardening, emptying an entire tank on a flower plant in one go just because you are too excited to pursue your hobby or trimming your plants every two hours is not how you are supposed to pursue your hobby. Of course on a note!

To conclude:

Personality Development is a continuous process and there is always a scope for improvement. None is perfect and we are all learners. Important is to continuously work on yourself. Because your personality follows you like your shadow and is a reflection of your true self.

It has the power to make you or break you!

Author is a Company Secretary, has great interest in writing and can also be reached at jayaranga51@gmail.com