Of late, I suffered from an ankle sprain, and I was scared…
Honestly speaking, I wasn’t as scared of my injured ankle as much I was of being left alone,literally locked in my room, for several days. The condition was known as ‘Peroneal Tendon Injury’ which, as per the orthopedics, takes several weeks to recover. My movement was restricted and I wasn’t permitted climb up or down the stairs.
My father would leave for his office in the morning, my mother would get busy with her chores, and that practically meant that I was left to my own device (my Samsung), left to my own thoughts, with myself as my company. And believe me, it hadn’t been much of a picnic!
Yes, my ‘social friends’ helped me for the first few days. Facebook, Whatsapp, Youtube are always there to loyally accompany you wherever you might be (even in the toilet!).However, I was lucky to come to my good sense when I realized that these social buddies were actually hell-bent on ‘helping’ me on the road to melancholy rather than recovery.
But then, when you leave the leisure of technology, you become privy to another tempestuous force…popularly known as ‘thoughts’. You’d rather spend every night watching horror films all alone than spending even one day with the company of your own thoughts!
Well, I do remember that scary day (during the recovery period) I spent without my phone. I generally read a book but that day I wasn’t in the mood. And having vowed not to see any screen-device (be it mobile or TV or computer) I became nothing short of a prisoner, lying on my bed and brooding. Thousand thoughts churned inside as if my head was a grinding machine, making me restless and fidgety, furious and fussy, causing me to question my own sanity and existence and identity, and all the time, I had those sheer urges to break my vow and take a plunge once again into the digital…at the end of the day, I became so mentally and emotionally exhausted, I went to sleep early.
Over the next couple of days, I maintained my vows of ‘digital curfew’, although somewhat in a balanced way. I found myself enjoying my time in doing small things like calling or inviting friends, writing randomly, reading books, even helping my mother slicing vegetables, and of course contemplating. I soon came to terms with my own thoughts…
Yes, when you are alone, your thoughts might scare you, I do not deny, but with practice, trust me, you’ll feel completely at ease with your own self, with your own inner voice, and perhaps, if you are lucky enough, would come to realize the true nature of your existence. I now thank my ‘injury days’ for I understood the meaning of the saying: “If you have learned to live with yourself, then you have learned to live truly…”