Often we hear the news of suicides by people for various reasons. Many growing youths commit suicide for the reasons of failures in their exams, love, etc. what are the reasons behind this. Really a failure in exam or love life is the correct reason? Isn’t this A Million Dollar question? As per my perception one of the reasons for committing suicides or any other self destructive step is the anger. Either it is with others or with self. Not having trust in self leads to self destructive steps. We have many times come across the news that boyfriend killed the girlfriend or vice versa. This is also anger. Anger is a very temporary condition but it can lead to many disasters. Today’s world is a world of competition and we become desperate and impatient all the time. We don’t even realize that we get angry on people whom we love the most without their fault.
We don’t have time to think for ourselves or examine our self. Why should we or anyone else suffer because of uncontrollable anger? We can practice a habit of controlling our own anger first and then we can share this habit coolly with others. Just try it; everyone loves to listen, those who are really cool. You also like that, don’t you? But when we are angry really it is not at all easy to get calm down and sometimes impossible. I would present before you nothing new but what I have experimented on myself. I am a common person and just like everyone else controlling of anger is a big challenge for me. But in major of the attempts I have been successful when I have consciously tried it. You can innovate your own ideas and share it with me.
Some of the normal techniques I follow are given in this article and I hope it will be useful to you:
1) Find the reason:
I am not saying to find the reason when we are in an angry mood. We are not in a position to think further in that state and in such a state there is no question of analyzing situation and finding any reason.
But we are not angry all the time, are we? When we are in a normal situation or in a happy mood we can talk to our self and find the reason for our anger. We can ask our self following questions:
· Am I expecting from someone and my expectations are not being met?
· Is anything expected from me and I am not meeting the expectation?
· Am I getting angry with my loved ones only or almost any one?
· Am I by my nature an angry person or it is a sometimes happening event?
· Are my feelings hurt or my ego is not fulfilled?
· Do I have a forgiving nature or keep remembering the past?
· Does it happen often with me? Analyze past actions.
The list of such questions can be still long. There are no fixed answers to these questions but when we try to find the answers and analyze them, it is certain that the frequency and strength of our anger will get reduced automatically. When our mind finds the answers of what is happening with it, it starts keeping cool and acts more wisely and logically.
2) Childlike activities
When we are angry we can try out this technique. By burning or flushing some piece of paper, or doing some silly acts like children, if we feel that we are getting relaxed, we should try it. Atleast this will not harm anyone seriously. Many people throw some objects at someone and hurt them. This should be strictly avoided. Rather we can adopt pillow fight. Sounds silly but we can get relaxed through it. The main motive behind controlling our anger is to control ourselves from harming anyone or our self either physically or mentally.
3) Get diverted
Try to disconnect yourself from the topic which is causing anger. Try to avoid arguments which are leading to serious anger and violence. This can be done most easily by leaving the place immediately. If you are on phone, disconnect the phone when the argument starts heating up. Call the person after some time. But every time this is not possible. Sometimes, coming to a conclusion is necessary and leaving the room or topic is not possible. In such case, we can change the topic for a while say for 5 minutes and get back to the discussion again. If we are angry with no one but only ourselves, then we can divert our thoughts to any other positive side of ourselves. Meditation can also help in this situation.
Often ladies do this when they are angry. That is why they are less prone to heart attacks. Why male cannot cry? There is no such rule made by our God that male creatures cannot cry. By crying, we automatically flush out the anger from our self and we can reach to a cool and calm but strong state of mind. If we cannot cry in front of any human being, we can do this alone or in front of mirror, or statue of our lord. Try it out, you will feel great.
5) Accept the truth
We except lot more from our life then we deserve. This is a human nature. But so many times we have to accept that whatever we are receiving is due to our own efforts. If we have to face failure, then we have to face with all dignity and like a true sportsman. We can come back with more power and strength. And for a failure in love life, you can refer to great authors books, thoughts, there are number of ideas given by lot of great experienced people. At this point I remember the famous dialogue of Aamir Khan, “Bus, train aur ladki ke pichhe mat bhago, ek jaegi, dusri aayegi”.
Even doctors have recommended this medicine for a longer and healthier life. I am not the new one to recognize its importance. A smile on the face immediately relaxes the muscles in our forehead. Just try it now. All the tensions go when we smile. Smiling is not necessarily to be practiced to please someone else. It can be practiced to keep our self tension free.
7) Strong commitment
Anything is possible with strong commitment. Whether it is success in life, success over our weakness or any difficult task; once we are committed to something then we will definitely get successful. Committing to oneself itself is a first step towards removing the weakness.
With this point I end my article. Hope you all find it interesting. You can share with me some more mind controlling techniques.