Hello Friends,
Hope my articles make some impact in your lives.
We are all familiar with the concept of comparing since our childhood. It is like a tradition which is followed since decades. We try to compare ourselves with others at every stage of life from our school to getting a job. We are taught that life is a race and you have to come first or else….. (may vary as per case-to-case). Since, we grow up by this very concept, we often come across where we start comparing ourselves with our peers and friends and get demotivated.
Is comparing ourselves to others a correct indication of performance measurement?
As per my view, it could have been correct if all factors were constant in every case. Factors like intellect, mindset, environment, background, upbringing, etc. This is completely ignored in reality.
For a student, if one does not score well in exams, then one has to hear lengthy lectures from their parents and sometimes relatives and other people. And to continue this comparison in CA exams is just grossly wrong.
As a student even I had to experience and overcome the Cons of Comparison
Seeing what others have or have accomplished can instigate feelings of jealousy, malicious envy and unfairness. Instead of feeling happy for someone that we know deserves their good fortune, we allow our own insecurities to take over. We have to be able to get past our negative thoughts and stop feeling sorry for ourselves. This person may be at a different place in their lives where they worked hard and legitimately deserve to succeed. Your feelings of anger and the “poor me syndrome” are preventing you from seeing clearly and can ruin a friendship or potential business contact. You know the adage, comparing apples and oranges. Perhaps in the future, you will have moved forward and can realistically compare and contrast with this person.
Comparing also has its Pros if your mindset is positive
Seeing what others accomplish can positively motivate you to set goals and reach the next level. Knowing that others have achieved something that you want confirms that it is possible and can be realized. Understanding how someone reached their level of success can be a learning experience and help you prepare your pathway. Often times, comparing ourselves to others whom we aspire to emulate can create a mentoring situation or camaraderie that can not only help us to achieve our goals, but create an important business contact and friend.
How to overcome the negative effects of comparison
As per my personal experience:
Trying to explain parents and other people is very difficult as it will only lengthen the matter and ultimately destroy one’s peace of mind, so it is better to just give a deaf ear to it. Below are the things which one can do:
- Always have a positive mindset
- Try to be calm and do meditation to relax your mind
- Engage in stress relief activities like going to gym, listening music, watching movies, series, etc. playing with pets (cats/dog is great stress buster
- Do not think of the same topic as it will only deteriorate the situation, so divert your attention to different activity (I preferred playing games and watching anime)
- Spend your time in your hobbies and other passions
- Compare your own performance rather than comparing with others If you get low marks, then try to do SWOT analysis of your performance and accordingly plan your next move
- Always remember, no work is big or small, we are humans first and we work for our families.
Another controversial question is, why should we work for less pay being a Chartered Accountant?
There is a big variation in the pay scale of Chartered Accountants in the industry and we often start comparing our package with others even though we have same degree.
To answer this, I will simply state that if you are happy with what you are doing then what you get in return is least important. Just keep doing good deeds, it will come to you in unexpected ways!
But, since we are inclined to the concept that we are in a race, we often let our ego take over our good side and make some wrong decisions like switching a job for higher pay, and you find out that the work environment is unpleasant. So, before taking any quick decisions, assess all the factors and then take such decisions. As there is a saying "Haste Makes Waste".
To conclude, I will reiterate that, "Be satisfied with what you have, because unless you are satisfied you will never attain inner peace. Just don’t be satisfied with learning, keep learning and keep growing."
The author can also be reached at kudvevishal@gmail.com
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