INTERESTING DEFINITIONS

School: 
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays. 

Life Insurance: 
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. 

Nurse: 
A person who works up to give you sleeping pills. 

Love Affairs: 
Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match or T20 is more popular than one day internationals. 

Marriage: 
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. 

Divorce: 
Future tense of Marriage. 

Tears: 
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 

Cigarette: 
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. 

Lecture: 
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" 

Conference: 
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 

Conference Room: 
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 

Compromise: 
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 

Dictionary: 
A place where success comes before work. 

Classic: 
Books, which people praise, but do not read. 

Smile: 
A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

Office: 
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 

Yawn: 
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 

Etc.: 
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 

Committee: 
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

Experience: 
The name men give to their mistakes. 

Atom Bomb: 
An invention to end all inventions. 

Philosopher: 
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. 

Diplomat: 
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. 

Opportunist: 
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 

Optimist: 
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." 

Miser: 
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 

Father: 
A banker provided by nature. 

Criminal: 
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. 

Boss: 
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

Politician: 
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 

Doctor: 
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with bills.