Funny quote (28-12-2015)

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.