Disorder in the Court

This is Hillarious. The following, are all actual statements made in court...



Things people actually said in court, word for word:



Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.



Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?



A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.





Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?





Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.





Q: How old is your son-the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.





Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?

A: He said, "where am I Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.





Q: And where was the location of the accident?

A: Approximately milepost 499.

Q: And where is milepost 499?

A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.





Q: Sir, what is your IQ?

A: Well I can see pretty well I think.





Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?

A: After the accident?

Q: Before the accident.

A: Sure, I played horn for ten years. I even went to school for it.





Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.





Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?

A: Yes.

Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?

A: Yes sir.

Q: What did she say?

A: What disco am I at?





Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?





Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?





Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?





Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?





Q: Did he kill you?





Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?





Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?





Q: How many times have you committed suicide?





Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?





Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?





Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, do they go up also?





Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?

A: I went to Europe, sir.

Q: And you took your new wife?





Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?





Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male or a female?





Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.





Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.





Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy