After Exams some jokes to share !!

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READ AND ENJOY THIS IS CALLED A STUDENT'S LIFE

1. ON BEING LATE.

Oye class kab shuru hui ?

attendance ho gai kya ?

Kal raat der raat tak gappe maar raha tha yaar ! Ab nind khuli to main kya karu.

Bata na kal kya padhaya tha isne ?

Ek page de na. Abey ek pen bhi to de warna kis se likhunga?

Koi itni subah subah kaise aasakta hain wo bhi is ki class ke liye ?

2.DURING THE LECTURE

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............

Yessssss sirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......

Nalayako !

No sir i knew the answer but sir ........

Saala apne aap ko newton samajhta hain !

Abey lecture ko maar goli. Kareena kya lag rahi hain aaj abhi just canteen gai hain, chal...!!

Uski t shirt pe kya likha hain dekhio jara !

Sale uske bagal main nahi baith sakta tha ? Gadha !

Yaar yeh bore kar raha hain ! chal baal set kar ke aate hain !

Heads aya to abhi canteen chalenge. Tail ayega to iska lecture jhelenge.

Yaar ladkio ko sirf aise namune hi pasand aate hain ? hamare jaise handsome nahi dikhte inhe ?

3. CLASS ATTENDANCE AND SEASONAL TEST

SIR : Dosto apki deemed holiday yani ki seasonal test is on next monday. Aap log to chutti manate ho us din.

Seasonal test ? Abey yaar main to movie jane ki soch raha tha kya ?

Arey seasonal test main itne sare topic ? Yeh khud hi ayega dekh lio sare absent honge !

Bhai gandhi ji ne kaha tha ki unity se ham har jang jit sakte hain ! sath main mil ke denge paper.

Yaar padha to tha but bhul gya . Pata nahi kaun si bimari hain yeh.Chal chod canteen chal.

Attendence

Sir class main hi tha but attendance bolna bhul gaya tha !

Oye usko thoda khush kar. Tera naam hata dega bunking student ki list se

Saale proxy bhi sahi se nahi mari jati ? Tera class attend karne ka kya fayda ?

4. ASSIGNMENT SUBMISSION( just like test papers ) AND VIVA ( Personal interview with the student )

Maine usko bola tha ki mera bhi copy kar ke submit kar dio. Sala apna number bana raha hain .

Main kya karu maine kaha tha usko dikhane k liye.

Yar these teachers should alow xerox. Sara system hi kharab hain. Yeh bhi chapna hain kya ?

Kaat kaat ke likh de kaun padhta hain

Yaar yeh computer badi mast chij hain ! iska mandir banaunga main bada hoker. Iske contorl+c and Control+v ne kai baar jindagi bachai hain hamari.

Tujhe sir ka sign ata hain kya ?

VIVA

Submission ab tak to hua nahi viva kya khaak hoga.

Aey raaj tere se kya poocha ? Mood kaisa hain ?

Sala ladkio se asan sawal pooch raha hain !

Lagta hain isko bekar chai pani di hain school walo ne ! hamse le lete paise yaar !

Yaar yeh viva ke liye external bande kyu aate hain ? iske ghar main bacche nahi hain?

Yaar external bhi insaan hain. Wo jaanta hain ki students ki abhi tak preparation nahi hain.

Oye sale ka nature kharab hain ! Personal question pooch raha tha !

5.COPYING TEST PAPERS FOR SUBMISSION

Yeh tune kya likha hain ?????

(the best one )

Jo word samajh main aa raha hain wo likh le jo word samajh main nahi aa raha hain uski drawing nikal le .

Fir bhi kuch to idea hoga ?

Maine rohit ka tepa hain. Dar mat mera yeh submit ho chuka hain tu bhi yahi tep le.

fir bhi koi hint to de ?

Are yaar ghaseet de na tu samjhega aur na wo.

6 EXAMINATIONS ( THE BEST )

JO (mujhe ) aata hain wo (paper main ) aata nahi aur jo aata hain wo saala jarur aata hain

yeh na target karte hain hampe taki ham log pass na ho aur sare paise yahi log kamaye

Oye president se poochiye kya usko khud aata hain iska answer?

Yeh question last 4 attempt se nahi pooch rahe to ab bhi nahi poochenge.

Aur yeh to last attempt main hi aya hain ! chod isko abki baar nahi ayega

Tere pas summary hain yaar iski ? samajh nahi araha ?

Yeh sale lawmaker daru pikar law likhte hain kya ? Khud angrejo ko yeh english nahi samajh ayegi

Yaar thodi der so raha hu utha dio thodi der baad ! sale uthaya ku nahi ! yaar main khud so gaya tha ! sorry

Abey yeh chapter for weightage 6 marks ? ( See facial expressions it tells the whole story ) Samajh nahi araha to rat le ( the favourite one )

Roll number kis hisab se allot hote hain ?

Yaar yeh log question paper kaha print karwate hain ?

Yaar ek din ka aur gap de dete to kya 3rd world war start ho jati ?

In examiner ke sine main dil nahi hain !

AFTER EXAMS

Yaar aaj audit ka tha ya fir law ka ? law ka ? sare question to audit jaise dikh rahe the

Yeh bhi syllabus main tha kya ?

Oye poora paper ajay jain ki book se aya hain ? Lagta hain usi ne banaya hain

Kya kah raha hain yaar ( look at facial expressions) aise solve karna tha kya ???????

1st question main 12 marks 2nd main 4 3rd main 6 and 4th galat hain 5th main 3 and 6th salo ne kaha se poocha. Lo yaar main fail hu

Yaar fail to ho gaye ho chal notice board main se apna naam fad dete hain koi dekhega to !

Saale number mat pooch bataya na fail hu

I KNOW MANY OF YOU WILL LIKE IT AND MANY WILL NOT. PLEASE SHARE YOUR VIEWS AS THESE MOMENTS ARE PART OF EVERYBODY'S LIFE IF YOU HAVE NOT LIKED IT PLEASE DO NOT ABUSE. TAKE CARE

Replies (12)

Banner in front of the CA coaching centre :
“Drive slowly, don’t kill our students… leave them to us.”

Raat ko kitab meri mujhe dekhti rahi, Nind mujhe apni aur khichti rahi, Nind ka jhoka mera man moh gaya ,

Aur ek raat fir ye CA Student bina padhe so gaya .



  1. Exam ka saaya hai, Exam ke dino me sukh kisne paya hai. Duniya wale kehte hai, achchhe number lao,

    Kaun samjhaye inhe, ye sab moh maya hai.


  2. Kash koi “Exam Result” ka insurance kara deta, To har exam ke pehle premium bharwa dete, Pass hote to thik hai, Varna insurance claim karva lete.


  3. Ye India ka CA hai bidu, 40 mile to tali bidu, Attempt lage to gali bidu, Hua exempt to bole jhakhas, 39 lage to satyanash, Pass ho to thaat hai, Fail ho to vaat hai.


  4. 5 Years

    50 Laws

    500 Lectures

    5000 Practicals

    50000 Sections

    500000 Rules

    A normal human being can’t bear it.

    The remaining abnormals are called

    CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS

Student at Medical Shop : I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that.
(Student shows his CA books)
.
.
Chemist: Oh sorry, I didn’t know you had a prescripttion.

 

CA vs Space Engineer Student

 

A CA and a Space Engineering student go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the CA wakes his Engineer friend and says:

“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

The Engineer replies, “I see millions of stars.”

The CA asks, “What does that tell you?”

The Space Engineer  ponders for a minute…. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?

The CA sat silent for a moment, then speaks…. “Practically. ..Someone has stolen our tent, while we were sleeping”.

very funny dear...

 

Top 10 Rajnikanth Jokes.

 

I don't want to imply that Rajnikanth's jokes are more famous than his movies. But let's face it how many Rajni movies have you actually seen? And now count how many jokes you have come by -  through sms or email forwards. Surely, much, much more! Somehow his jokes turn out to be great LOL moments.

So here is the top 10 list :

1.Rajinikanth doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

2.Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

3.Rajinikanth killed the dead sea.

4.If you spell `Rajanikant' wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajinikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

5.Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano

6.Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!

7.Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? 

Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?

8.Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

9.If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.

10.When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!

11.Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying "BANG"

12.Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.

13.Rajinikanth can divide by zero.

14.Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

15.When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.



WhOops ! Sorry had to go overboard & couldn't restrict it to top 10! After all these are Rajnikat jokes.

HAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............................

Good Collection,Ravi keep sending yaar

Enjoying Very Much..............Ha Ha HA.........
awsome..............:)
Originally posted by : Drushti A. Sanchde
Enjoying Very Much..............Ha Ha HA.........

my pleasure !! :)


CCI Pro

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