I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
Violence won’t solve anything….But it sure makes me feel good.
If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.
History shows us that the people who end up changing the world – the great political, social, scientific, technological, artistic, even sports revolutionaries – are always nuts, until they are right, and then they are geniuses.
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!
Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
You can thank your lucky stars that everything I wish for will never come true.
Bulls**t: the art of making the idiotic sound sensible.
Marriages are made in heaven but accidents do happen.