The hurting of the ego

CA 1316 views 13 replies

Guest

Almost everyday or every second day we come across a situation when someone says something to us which is not very pleasurable or we chose to perceive it to be so. In either case, we feel insulted and get upset as a result. In some cases we react and display our feelings. In some, we don't. In either case, the result is a depreciation (decrease) in our happiness index. Why does this happen? It's because you have created, attached to and identified with an image of yourself in your mind that does not match with how the other sees or perceives you, as a result of which you believe you have been insulted and you get upset.

As long as people's perception of you matches the image that you have created inside your mind of yourself, you are content with them, but as soon as the opposite happens, even if it is to a very small extent, you become disturbed, because you are attached to that image. The more the attachment, the greater the hurt, the disturbance or reaction. You could examine this phenomenon very closely, taking place inside yourself everyday. This kind of attachment mentioned above is called ego. That's why the phenomenon explained above is called in common language 'the hurting of the ego'.

Replies (13)

Vandana J Doshi

Practising Company Secretary

12562 Points Joined May 2011

Good explaining......

Stranger

5531 Points Joined December 2013

Absolutely sir, it’s a very common human feature which may be vis-à-vis position or degree or money or any specific talent the person possesses..it really will be impractical for a person to think that he do not have any “EGO”..Like anger, everyone has ego..the difference is the magnitude, i.e., some have more while some have less..the most important thing is how you used to control it..it should be constructive but not self destructive..you can relate ‘controlled ego’ to positive attitude & ‘self destructive’ ego as negative attitude..The famous golden word which should be very well understood by today’s generation is try your level best to maintain a positive “ATTITUDE”..

CA Saroj Kumar

Keen to learn something new every moment

2588 Points Joined June 2010

very well said stranger....and ratan sir....

Sushmita Saha

Student

115 Points Joined June 2013

Rightly said..& thank you!! For sharing this message..

CA pooja bafna

Professional

195 Points Joined February 2014

Fqb lines.....thank u......

Rakesh Kumar

not any

24 Points Joined April 2014

Nice.......good ... thanku for such ..words

Guest

Continuing from yesterday's message, we commonly use the terms - my ego got hurt or I think your ego got hurt. 'You hurt my ego' is nothing but you hurt or harmed the image that I carry of myself (as discussed yesterday) with me each second everyday. Because I carry it with me all the time, I have become attached to it. e.g. If, on a particular day, you reach home late from office and your wife, who is angry with you, accuses of not being a family man and one who doesn't give enough time to her and the children. Your reasons for reaching home late may be genuine or not, your wife may be right or wrong on that particular day. In either case, you carry an image of yourself, all the time, as being a very loving, caring father and husband, who has been responsible for the all-round growth and development of the family in all respects since the family was created. Your wife's words basically pinch that invisible image, as a result of which you feel insulted and hurt and you react angrily, not necessarily in front of your wife, but it could be in front of someone else or even just internally. This phenomenon happens many times, in various different situations with different people throughout the day and every day.

The image that we all carry of our selves is made of various traits or characteristics, obviously the characteristics of each one's self-created image are different. These characteristics of the image may or may not actually exist inside the real self, but whenever someone challenges any of those characteristics or tries to suggest to us that one of those characteristics is not ours or does not exist inside us, we react.