Joke

Sachin, driving the latest BMW, was pulled over by a Punjab policeman at a roadblock.
 
'Congratulations', said the cop...'Because you are wearing your seat belt you have just won Rs.50,000/- in an Arrive Alive safety competition'.
 
Sachin could hardly believe his luck.
 
'What are you going to do with your cash?' asked the traffic cop.
 
'Well I guess I'm going to get a driver's license,' Sachin answered.
 
'Oh, don't listen to him,' yelled Deepesh in the passenger seat.
 
'He tries to be smart when he's drunk.'
 
This woke up Naveen in the back seat who took one look at the cop and moaned,
 
'I TOLD you stealing the BMW  was a bad idea. A Toyota would have been better.'
 
At that moment there was a knock from the boot and Rafeeq voice said, 'Are we over the border yet?'
 
The cop said .... 'Okay, my brothers.  How are we sharing this Rs.50,000?'

One day in a school in London, a teacher said to a class of 5-year-olds 
I'll give 10 pounds to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived." 

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." 
The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct." 

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." 

The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either." 

Then a Jewish boy put his hand up and said "David", 

The Buddhist boy said "Gautama Buddha" and the Muslim boy said "Mohammed". 

They all were not successful. Finally, a Gujju boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." 

The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jignesh, come up here and I'll give you the 10 pounds that I promised." 

As the teacher was giving Jignesh his money,

 she said, "You know Jignesh, since you're a Hindu; I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." 

Jignesh replied, "Yes. In my heart I knew it was Krishna, but Business is Business!!!!! !

If swimming is a good exercise to stay fit,
Why are whales fat? 

Why the place in a stadium where people sit, 
Why it is called a STAND? 

Why is it that everyone wants to go to heaven? 
But nobody wants to die? 

Shall I say that there is racial discrimination even 
in chess as the white piece is moved first? 

In our country, we have freedom of speech, 
then why do we have telephone bills? 

If money does not grow on trees then 
why do banks have branches? 

Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? 
Why do you still call it building when it’s already built? 

If it’s true that we are here to help others, 
what are others here for? 

In a university, there were four students taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. 
  
  These four friends were so confident  ::)with the finals approaching that the weekend before, they decided to go down to Canberra and party with some friends there. They had a great time. However, after all the hard partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Sydney until early Monday morning - the morning of their final exam! 
  
  Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor AFTER the exam and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to Canberra to do some research in the ANU archives for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tyre, on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they only just arrived now! 
  
  The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up their final exam the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied hard that night - all night - and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. 
  
  He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. The first problem was worth five points. It was something simple about covalency. "Cool," they all thought in their separate rooms, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.
  
  Question 2 (for 95 points): Which tyre?  

Definitions of Designations:   
•   Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.   
•   Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.   
•   Onsite Coordinator  is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.       
•   Client  is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.   
•   Marketing Manager  is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.   
•   Resource Optimization Team  thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with   zero resources. 
•   Documentation Team  thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.   
•   Quality Auditor  is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby and even with his natural features also.   
•   Tester  is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby 
•   HR Manager is a person who thinks that...a Donkey can deliver a Human baby if given 9 months.