GET RELIEF from ur tensions

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?

Santa: Very long!

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Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?

Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

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Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.

Guess what did he ask next...

Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

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Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.

The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?

Santa: Dusri side tera pyo lagayega kya?

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Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?

Santa: Birla cement.

Banta: Kyun?

Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

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Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.

Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

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Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.

Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

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Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.

Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

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Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.

Santa: I think I'll take the money.

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Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?

Banta: Me too, after u leave.

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A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?

Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

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Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?

A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

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Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.

Banta: Santa u'll die.

Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

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Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!

Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

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Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.

Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

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Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.

Banta: What's he studying?"

Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

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Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "

A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

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Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?

A: Because it was an entrance exam.

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What's Ford?

Santa: Gaadi.

What's Oxford?

Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

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Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.

Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

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Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.

Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.

Santa: I didn't say he got out.

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Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?

O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

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Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"

Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"