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Patient:Doctor,I feel so sick I want to die! Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage. Don't talk rubbish! A dentist’s patient was grumbling about the fee. “Two hundred rupees for pulling out a tooth!,” she exclaimed. “And it’s only a minute’s work.” “Well, if you wish,” the dentist said, “I’ll it out slowly.” Patient: “How can I ever repay you for your kindness to me?” Doctor: “By cheque, money order, or cash.” Lady to the doctor over the phone. “ Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present, and I can’t get into it. “ Doctor:” Just come over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescripttion. Then you will soon be able to wear your wonderful new dress.” Lady: “ Who said anything about a dress? I am talking of car.” Man: "Doctor, Doctor! My wooden leg is giving me a headache!" Doctor: "Why?" Man: "Because my wife keeps hitting me on the head with it." A man visited a headmaster who was playing chess with his dog. "Your dog must be must be very intelligent," said the man. "Not really," said the headmaster. "I've won three games out of four." Assistant: Doctor the invisible man has come for his check up. Doctor: Tell him I can't see him. "Doctor I keep stealing things. What can I do?" "Try to resist the temptation but if you can't, get me a new television" PATIENT:-DOCTOR I AM FEELING SEVER ITCHING,GIVE ME A MEDICINE PLEASE. DOCTOR:-TAKE THIS SLIP TO THE MEDICAL SHOP PATIENT:-IF I USE THIS MEDICINE,I CAN SOLVE THIS ITCHING. DOCTOR:-I GAVE THIS FOR GROWING YOUR NAILS FOR SCRATCHING. Patient:Why does everyone ignore me? Doctor:Next Please!!!!!! Patient:"I want to live doctor when should I take the medicine". Doctor:"So remember to take the medicine exactly before you feel the pain". One day a man saw a beggar on the street. He went to him and said "If you stop begging I will pay you Rs 1000 per month". In reply the begger said "Come and beg with me and I will pay you Rs5000 per month A boy to the doctor,"Doctor, Doctor I have lost my memory." "When did this happen?" asked the doctor. The boy said,"When did what happen?" Patient:Doctor!Doctor!One of my eyes is different from the other! Doctor:Really,which one |
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