Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either".
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either".
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.
present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power ..
by feminine water-power ..
Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master
and a woman gains her master
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.
everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.
you have never felt before.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.
actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead.
of when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.
you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.
falls into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."
midway "See I am not injured yet."
Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.
caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.
Confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.
his bills.
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