I am amazed at the various self help and self development books that are currently on the best sellers’ lists. This clearly indicates that many people are looking for a road map to develop and succeed in their life quests. Most seem to be newer edits or versions of age old truths which are just written differently using new jargon and acronyms.
Yet, they sell and many become best sellers. I wonder who buys these books and what do they do with them? If the books do work, there should be a gradual decline in demand for them as people would be succeeding in achieving their goals.
One reason could be that people read these books, but few bother to practice what is recommended. But I think there is a majority who do implement the suggestions but yet they continue to seek out the next self help book that comes along. Why is that?
My theory is that successful people have a formula, but there is nothing that should be considered a universal success formula.
Each one of us is unique and we have varying strengths and weaknesses in our abilities and personalities. Some of us are excellent in planning and leading a structured life, while some cannot function without a chaotic environment.
I am reminded of the Tamil silent film Pesum Padam which starred Kamal Hassan. In one scene when he is trying to sleep, he is unable to do so because he misses the cacophony of his old neighborhood. So, he makes a recording of the ambient sounds and plays it to fall asleep. Had he picked up a book instead, titled How to fall asleep! — can you imagine what would have happened? The book might have suggested all the usual things like avoid coffee or have a cup of warm milk closer to bedtime and so on. I am positive, that the book would not have had a chapter that deals with recording your neighborhood sounds and playing it back to fall asleep!
We are individuals made up of millions of components like looks, voice, height, education, etc and our personality is a sum total of all these elements. Therefore to leverage our personality to pursue success requires a very deep understanding of our constituents and the role each plays.
No doubt the self help books help by indicating possible action points to aid in a person’s development and success. However, for these to work, one needs to first understand oneself completely. Otherwise it would be like giving a map marked in Greek to someone who knows only English. One would feel that one knows where he is heading, but in reality would be completely lost.
For any self help book to be really useful one first needs to understand one’s own personal success formula.
A few things one can do towards developing the personal success formula are:
1. List all instances of achievements and success. It could be something small like wrangling a freebie at a store or a major achievement like earning a degree.
2. List all the elements that went into it in terms of effort, timing, your interaction, the reactions, how the reactions were managed, etc.
3. Look for common threads in all these instances and identify if you repeat the same knowingly or unknowingly.
4. Finally validate this by repeating the first 2 steps for all those times when things did not go well or you were unsuccessful.
This exercise would help identify and make you aware of the uniqueness that you bring to the table. It could something as simple as a smile or a sincere look. Maybe when you smile, your face transforms and communicates something powerful. Once a person has this insight and knowledge about himself then, applying self help action points becomes easier. And more importantly you will start to repeat some action points that enhance your uniqueness and eliminate the others that are counter productive. From this state of awareness, your personal success formula will emerge and take form.
People who know this and are scriptting their success formulas also read self help books. It is just that they don’t blindly try to follow instructions. They pick and choose from each and craft their own success formula.
Lastly, one should never try passing on a personal success formula to anyone because most probably it might not work. Like I said, every successful person has a formula, but there are no success formulas.
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