smile a while!!!

HAVE A BLAST ............ ......... . Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin? Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.. Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite? Man: My wife... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business? Student: Father-in-Law! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u. After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand? Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai. Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai? Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai. Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali. Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Q: Why do women live longer than men? A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Whats the diff between Complete & Finished? If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes. 2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me? Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.