NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

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Chartered Accountant
14243 Points Joined February 2009

 

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

 

Ø CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer
 
Ø CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.
                  
Ø BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
 
Ø BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no s*x.
 
Ø VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
 
 
Ø P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing
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On 17 April 2009 at 16:56 Report
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Chartered Accountant
14243 Points Joined February 2009

 

Ø BROKER — What my broker has made me.
 
Ø STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
 
Ø STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
 
 
Ø FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
 
Ø MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
 
 
Ø CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
 
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On 17 April 2009 at 16:57
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Chartered Accountant
14243 Points Joined February 2009

 

Ø WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought satyam @ 200 per share.
 
Ø INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
 
 
Ø PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
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On 17 April 2009 at 17:02
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Company Secretary and Compliance Officer
114788 Points Joined January 2009

very funny..

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On 17 April 2009 at 18:07
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audit clerk
40 Points Joined April 2009
extremely funny
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On 17 April 2009 at 19:49


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