One of the simplest yet most effective techniques for instantly improving any relationship in your life is this:
Make direct, unflinching eye contact with the other person
and give them a genuine, heart felt smile.
This may seem quite obvious but it is amazing how rarely we take the time to make real eye contact and share a heart warming smile with the people around us. Usually we are too busy thinking of a million and one other things.
If we smile at all, it’s usually a mechanical gesture and most of our eye contact with the people we interact with during the day is at best fleeting.
Before you dismiss this technique as being simplistic, I encourage you to give it a try this week. You can practice with the people you live with, your work or business collegues, shop assistants and even people walking down the street.
Be aware that it takes more than a flicker of eye contact and a brief smirk for this to work. To have a real impact it has to involve direct, unflinching eye contact and a broad, genuine smile. Now it can be a little intimidating to do at first but when you get the hang of it, you might be surprised by the impact making eye contact and a sincere smile can have.
Here’s what happened the first time I tried this technique:
One day I was wrestling with my eight year old nephew David (It’s a guy thing – doesn’t matter how old we are, we have to wrestle!). I pinned my nephew to the ground, made direct, unflinching eye contact, gave him a big genuine smile and said, "I love spending time with you David".
About half an hour later, I was driving all three of my nephews to the park, when little David piped up from the back seat and said, "I love you Uncle Anth!" His comment came completely out of the blue and was delivered with such feeling that I instantly knew it was a direct result of the connection we had made while wrestling.
Action Steps:
This week I’d like to encourage you to put this technique to the test. At home and at work, make the effort to connect with those around you with direct eye contact and a heart felt smile. I think you’ll be amazed by the results.
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