IN THIS INSECURE WORLD that we live in, people often feel awkward receiving compliments, viewing them as unearned praise and start questioning their motive, running the risk of appearing defensive or unintentionally rude by not responding graciously.
The following steps will help you give and take compliments easily:
Listen:
Focus on the person giving the compliment, allowing him/her time to complete their sentence. Silence your inner critic, which may question the motive or genuineness; instead, accept the compliment at its face value.
Positive body language:
Don’t frown, shrink or look away when accepting compliments. Instead smile and maintain a direct gaze, even if you don’t believe the sincerity.
Accept, not reject:
A simple “thank you” is the only reply expected and no lengthy explanations. When paying a compliment, one frequently encounters such avoidable comments in return:
Objecting:
“Oh no, I look like a mess…!”
Minimising:
“Oh, it was no big deal…”
Arguing:
“No, I spotted several weak points in my presentation…!”
Acting cocky:
“Thanks! I paid an arm and a leg, it better be nice...”
Changing the topic:
“So, how is business?” At a complete loss for words
Give, not just take:
Giving compliments improves our relationships greatly, as they force us to focus on the positive attributes of another person. While most people are good at complimenting their bosses and clients, try doing the same with your staff and peers and see them enjoy that extra dash of unexpected praise.
Culture:
Culture has a role to play in giving and accepting compliments. Eastern cultures use an indirect mode of giving compliments and excessive compliments make them suspect an ulterior motive. Japanese tend to downplay giving and accepting compliments about themselves, preferring to compliment achievements. Chinese feel they are showing humility by rejecting compliments. On the other hand, Americans are a direct complimentsdriven culture, showering compliments on personal appearances. At times, the American exuberance appears insincere to other cultures. Although Indians are not comfortable complimenting on a person’s appearance, especially between genders, socially, we are expected to compliment the hostess / lady of the house.
Lastly, while women give more compliments, men tend to take them more seriously.
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