Check out how leaders of India Inc bring up their kids

BALASUBRAMANYA B N (CCI STUDENT....) (44668 Points)
Replied 10 January 2010

Sanjay Lalbhai,MD, Arvind Mills
Spouse: Jayshree Lalbhai
Children: Punit Lalbhai,27 & Kulin Lalbhai,24

If you love something, set it free—isn’t merely the stuff of romantic novels. Ask Jayshree and her husband, Sanjay Lalbhai, the man behind Arvind Mills. Their elder son Punit went to study biotechnology in the US but then said he wanted to do wildlife biology instead. In Jayshree’s words, “We were at sea. It wasn’t about what he would do with it, but that we didn’t know how we could support him. We held on to the belief, though, that he would find his place and let him go ahead.”

By the second year of grad school at Yale, Punit found it. As his interest had shifted to environmental science, he was enthused by his family’s organic farming initiative at Akola. He’s now been with the family businesses for three years. His younger brother Kulin, was the opposite—a driven child has always been interested in the business . After electrical engineering at Stanford, he returned to India and worked with McKinsey for two years, and then joined the family business six months ago.

The involvement of her sons was a welcome surprise for Jayshree, particularly as she has always tried to prevent over-exposure to the business milieu. “I tried to bring my children up in a very normal way. I never had domestic help for them. We even decided against sending our children to study in the family-run school because it was important for them to be where they weren’t special,” she says.

The worry was that if they kept thinking that they were special, they would grow up thinking that life too would be a special deal. In fact, Jayshree feels that many in her social milieu wonder whether excess facilities warp the way children look at life. Later, Sanjay and Jayshree also decided against sending Punit to boarding school. But their concern was on a different count.

Jayshree recollects how Sanjay told her, “If we let him go now, this is the last that we will see of him.” It scared her so much that she decided the boys would stay with them till they finished school, so that they would have more time to learn values and philosophy of their parents. While the Lalbhais have always made a conscious choice not to influence their boys, be it in terms of religion, careers or choosing life partners, Jayshree recounts with pride that they seem to have imbibed their values. Their fledgings did indeed fly back home.

BALASUBRAMANYA B N (CCI STUDENT....) (44668 Points)
Replied 10 January 2010

Naveen Jindal, MD, Jindal Steel and Power
Spouse: Shallu Jindal
Children: Venkatesh Jindal, 14 & Yashasvini Jindal, 11

Some parents bond with children over homework, others at the dining table. Shallu and Naveen Jindal, however, bond with their children over hobbies and extra-curricular activities.

Their 11-year old daughter Yashasvini can’t complain of parents who don’t take an interest in her. On the contrary, Shallu, a Kuchipudi dancer, is delighted about her daughter’s interest in Indian classical dance and is always looking for the best gurus. She gets Yashasvini to perform at various forums and even takes her to competitions.

Their son, 14-year old Venkatesh is a total outdoors boy, fond of riding, polo, lawn tennis and cricket, much like his father. Apart from getting involved herself, Shallu says she always eggs Naveen on to find the best coaches and facilities to hone Venkatesh’s latent talent.

Like all parents, the Jindals want the best education possible for their children to develop well rounded personalities. And even though she may hope they will join the family business, she insists that “the choice is entirely their’s” .”I firmly believe that whatever careers they ultimately pursue would be entirely their choice. However, I keep guiding them on what I feel would be potentially best for them and where their inclinations lie,” says Shallu.

But sparing time for the kids doesn’t come easy. In Shallu’s words, she ‘creates’ time at whatever cost. “There are so many business and social commitments and a host of peripheral involvements that are unavoidable in the corporate circuit, both in and out of station. This leave comparatively less time,” she says. Yet, she makes it a point to be a regular mom, most importantly, spending time listening to her kids.

Having more of everything than others, children of industrialist families can take things for granted and find it difficult to strive for goals, but Shallu avers they learn most from what they see in their parents. “We are teaching our children to be God-fearing, respectful, honest and humble and not get carried away about being monetarily more privileged,” she says. “We try to inculcate in our children uprightness, goodness and truthfulness, by setting good examples for them to follow,” she says.

And she is justifiably pleased with that the results are beginning to show

BALASUBRAMANYA B N (CCI STUDENT....) (44668 Points)
Replied 10 January 2010

Gaurav Dalmia, Chairman, Landmark Land Holdings
Spouse: Sharmila Dalmia
Children: Devanshi Dalmia, 18; Aanya Dalmia, 12; Aryaman Dalmia, 12

A FEW months ago, Sharmila Dalmia was hassled by a problem at office. Even after she got home, she was flooded with calls, up until a little voice perked up, firing a volley of questions. It was one of her 12-year old twins, Aryaman, who demanded details. “He grilled me and even accompanied me to the office to help me sort it out,” says Sharmila.
And it isn’t only Aryaman; every child in the house is either a budding entrepreneur or a rising sports star. Eighteen-year-old Devanshi, for one can boast of a solo art exhibition at 16 and selling 25 of her works, one of which even decorates the London office of Goldman Sachs. “I really don’t know where she got that gene from,” says Gaurav, his eyes twinkling.

Twelve-year old Aanya is a member of the national soccer league while her twin Aryaman has a rock band and plans to cut his own CD. While the Dalmias have always allowed their children to follow their passions, Gaurav points out that the larger challenge he has given them is to find balance between “the discipline for success and the chaos for progress, without giving way to foolish escapism.”

The kids seem to get the drift of his thought and assume responsibility for their future. Which is perhaps why all the homework is done even without Sharmila asking. When Devanshi felt she needed help with her studies in senior school, she found her own tutors and even applied to universities in the US without any help. Devanshi recently left to pursue an undergraduate programme in business at the Wharton School of Business. If there are any objections to her choice of Wharton, it was only Gaurav’s saucy remark: “It has too many rich Indian kids.”

Gaurav explains the thought behind it. “It’s to do with the value of simplicity that I learnt from my father—to avoid having too many complications in your needs.” And he’s enforced it to a great extent in his own house. The children were not allowed to use an air-conditioner even in peak summer. Even in terms of pocket money, Gaurav feels that if there were a range created, then his kids would perhaps be at the relatively lower end of the spectrum.

There is one tantrum though that Aryaman recently threw that the family remembers vividly: He ate the food that the servants were given and created a scene over the fact that it wasn’t good enough to give them. Talk about living the simple life!

BALASUBRAMANYA B N (CCI STUDENT....) (44668 Points)
Replied 10 January 2010

B K Goenka, MD, Welspun Group
Spouse: Dipali Goenka
Children: Radhika Goenka, 20 & Vanshika Goenka, 16

She may be the heiress to a textile empire but 20-year old Radhika Goenka, a sophomore at Wellesley College, can’t go on an endless shopping spree. If she overshoots her budget, her mother may just block her money. It’s a part of the lesson that Dipali Goenka wants her daughters to learn—that money doesn’t come easy.

Being a working mother, Dipali feels that the girls have watched her and understand how money needs to be earned before being spent. Despite that, she feels that children, who take luxury for granted, need to be given a reality check. This would explain why her younger daughter, 16-year old Vanshika, spends time teaching girls in slums.

In fact, the road ahead doesn’t seem particularly smooth for Radhika or Vanshika, unless they prove themselves. According to Dipali, while they may be children of a privileged family, they would have to be financially independent and earn their living. As for their eventual presence in the business, Dipali avers, “If they have the capability to join the business, then so be it. But if they don’t, then they will just have to do something else.”

This means Vanshika, who has always been an ambitious child and is interested in the business, has her work cut out for her. Even if she does join, Dipali is very clear that Vanshika will not be given a senior post immediately. “She will first have to work outside the family organisation. When she joins, she will have to start as a trainee and work her way up.” Even with Radhika, who wants to do something on her own, Dipali is helping her set goals.

Dipali has her reservations about her daughters’ future, particularly when it comes to whether they would be able to withstand peer pressure. “It is then that their values will come to their rescue. I have tried very hard to give them perspective, build their characters and lay the foundations for a sound value system,” says Dipali.

A lot of this has been done through conversation and dialogue, sometimes around the dining table. Dipali vouches for impact that dining table discussions could have on shaping children’s character. “What you do with your child in the time you spend with them is critical as is the way you communicate with them. Even if you want to guide them onto a particular track, how you communicate this will determine whether they accept it,” is how she puts it.

BALASUBRAMANYA B N (CCI STUDENT....) (44668 Points)
Replied 10 January 2010

Amit Burman, Vice Chairman, Dabur Foods
Spouse: ivya Burman
Children: Diya Burman, 10 & Adhiraj Burman, 7

If there’s one complaint that Divya Burman has about her husband, it’s this: He gives in way too easily to the kids’ demands. The fifth or sixth time they say something, he just agrees. I tend to be stricter with them, possibly because I am a housewife and spend most of my time with them. Understandable enough.

Between juggling a nine to five schedule, meetings, workouts and the like, finding time to spend with the children is just about the biggest challenge for Amit Burman. No wonder, every time there’s a long weekend or a holiday, the Burmans embark on a do-not disturb family trip, to bond with their kids. Their mission is just to ensure that their children treat them as friends but without overstepping their boundaries. “We would like the relation to be informal yet at the same time, we want to ensure that they also respect us,” she says.

Since the kids are really young—their daughter Diya is 10 and son Adhiraj is seven—Divya hasn’t really given too much thought to whether they will join the business eventually or not. But Divya is categorical that the business shouldn’t be forced on them. “I don’t want to put ideas into their head. The business is always available. If they want it they could always be a part of it, provided they are passionate about it.” She quotes the case of her husband who initially found himself at loss in the massive family business and took a long time to find what he really wanted. But once he found his niche, in the food business, he really pushed it further, especially with latest venture into food retailing and setting up restaurants and food courts.

“As long as my children are compassionate and sensitive, have the sense to understand when they are being taken for a ride and the drive to push things to greater level, that’s all I want,” claims Divya.

BALASUBRAMANYA B N (CCI STUDENT....) (44668 Points)
Replied 10 January 2010

Ajay Piramal, Chairman, Piramal Healthcare
Spouse: Swati Piramal
Children: Nandini Piramal, 28 & Anand Piramal, 24

Get DR Swati Piramal started on the subject of her children and there’s no mistaking the pride in her voice. Though this mother of two has an extremely busy career of her own, running Nicholas Piramal India Ltd (now rechristened Piramal Healthcare) with her husband Ajay, her kids have turned out more than okay.

When he was seventeen, her son Anand started Dreaming of an Indian Awakening (DIA), a platform for young Indians to contribute to the country’s growth. “He travelled all around the country and stayed in distant villages,” his fond mother recalls. “One summer, he wrote to me saying, ‘It’s so hot here, my toothpaste has melted!’.”

Now 24, Anand is pursuing a degree at Harvard Business School. Ajay and Swati’s daughter Nandini, a Stanford graduate, has joined the company board as executive director. She is also working on a rural clean drinking water project called ‘Sarvajal’, in Rajasthan with her husband Peter.

Every parent wants their children to get the best possible education and the Piramals were no exception. “But apart from that, there were other important things they had to imbibe such as leadership, social conscience and family values,” she says, “And since they grew up hearing business being discussed at the dinner table, they understood the significance of these things quickly.”

Every Saturday, the family would go and listen to a monk from the Chinmaya Mission who would explain the values inscribed in the Bhagwad Gita. “It helped the kids understand that they could use their time doing things that mattered instead of wasting time,” Swati says.

She firmly feels that rich kids go bad due to parents giving in to their kids’ every demand. “That’s just asking for trouble later in life,” she says. At the same time, over-parenting has its demerits as well. “There is no point in enrolling your children in every class under the sun. They need to be given the freedom to be themselves.”

Her kids had no special privileges, she says. There was a deadline to come home at night and certain things, like driving fast, were forbidden because being Piramals, their actions would automatically come under a microscope. “We encouraged them to read a lot. In my opinion, reading gives you a quantum leap of knowledge. They took their reading seriously,” she says.