Wonderful definitions ...

School  A place where Parents pay and children play .

Life Insurance  A contract that keeps you poor all your life  so that you can die Rich. 

Nurse:  A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 

Marriage  It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.. 

Divorce  Future tense of Marriage.

Tears  The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 

Lecture  An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"  .

Conference  The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 

Conference Room  A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on  .

Criminal  A person no different from the rest  ....except that he/she got caught  .

Boss  Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early .

Politician  One who shakes your hand before elections and  your Confidence after  .

DOCTOR  A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. 

Smile  A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

Office  A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 

Yawn  The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 

Etc.  A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 

Committee  Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

Atom Bomb  An invention to end all inventions. 

Philosopher  A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.