HOW TO LISTEN SUCCESSFULLY
Listening is an active not a passive, behaviour consisting of hearing, understanding and remembering. A good listener takes part in the conversation, offering ideas and questions to keep the talk flowing. You want to say enough to add something new; but not so much that you overshadow the other person. Good conversation is a balancing act, a turn taking endevaor.
Listening means playing tennis, where you return the ball. And, like a good game of tennis, you want to see that you’re well matched, that you’re playing with the same ball, and that you alternate turns hitting it.
If you look back over meetings, conferences, visits with friends, and other conversations, you will perhaps recall that a great deal of time could have been saved if everyone had listened the first time. How many times did questions have to be answered again,or information repeated, or incidents retold? Not listening costs us time and energy – to say nothing of the disappointed looks on the faces of those who’d already told us that very thing.
WHAT MAKES A GOOD LISTENER
You focus on the other person, not allowing yourself to be distracted by what is going on around you or by your own thoughts and concerns
You not only listen, but you show you are listening by appearing highly interested, leaning, slightly forward, nodding occasionally, and saying “uh-huh’ at intervals
‘To be interesting, be interested’. Try to find some aspect of the other person’s talk that genuinely interests you.
You make and maintain eye contact, occasionally breaking it so that the other person doesn’t feel as though they’re under a microscope
You subtly mirror the other person; smile, frown, nod , and laugh when they do
You ask pertinent questions that show you’re following the other person’s train of thought
To listen effectively, you need to not only hear what the other person is saying but also to understand it. This means you also ask clarifying questions. To be called a conversation, there needs to be some back-and-forthing. You can try sentences like:
‘Along those same lines, do you’
‘Am i hearing this right? You think..’
‘Can you give me an example?’
‘From your perspective, you’re saying its not going to work out’
‘Hmm, but if that happens everytime..’
‘How were you able to manage with one arm in a cast’
‘If i understand you correctly, you believe..’
‘I think i see where you’re going with this, but keep talking.’
‘I’ve always wanted to ask someone how that works’
In other words..?
Now that’s intriguing – tell me more..
‘On the other hand, what if nobody shows up’
What do u mean by soon?
What got you started in this direction?
You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?
Will you be able to reproduce those results?
Would you do the same thing again?
Again,...there are lot many lines i can put here, but i want u guys to be more imaginative and using thought provoking or conversation extension lines..
To end, here’s a famous quote
A GOOD LISTENER IS NOT ONLY POPULAR EVERYWHERE, BUT AFTER A WHILE HE KNOWS SOMETHING...
Till the next post..So long everybody :)
CAclubindia
