FUN jokes

Dear Friends,

Man to Lawyer: What is your fees?
Lawyer: $200 for 3 questions.
Man: Isn't it too high?
Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?
****

Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.
****

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
****

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Ek bhoot dusare bhoot ko bolta hai -

Kitni ajeeb baat hai aadmi mar ne

ke baad bhoot ban jata hai,

par aurat chudel ki chudel hi rehti hai.....

Wife - Ek baat bolu maarna mat.

Husband - Bolo.

Wife - I am pregnant.

Husband - Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.

Wife - College me ek baar papa ko

batai thi to bahut maara tha.

A marathi student in a village was asked to

read the English numbers 70, 82, 89, 99.

He reads "Shewanti, Yeti tu? Yeti nai? nai tar nai..."

SANTA - Bachpan me maa ki bat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta.

Judge - Kya kehti thi maa?

SANTA - Jab bat hi nahi suni to kaise batau kya kehti thi?

Wife - "Suno ji, doctor ne muze 1 mahine aaram k liye kisi

Hill station pe jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?"

Husband - Dusre doctor ke pas.

Santa goes to hotel and orders fried fish.

Waiter - Sir, French or Spanish?

Santa - Jo marji le aa, maine kaunsi baatein karni hai....!

Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai

Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai? (my favorite)

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere laakhoon
rupaye fase huye hain.

Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.

What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!

What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'

What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.

Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

Cheers,