Why is it so difficult for us to forgive..

Why is it so difficult for us to forgive...

Why is it so difficult for us to forgive others? Why do we find it so hard to let go?
Sometimes, even years after a certain incident; sometimes, even after they have apologized;
sometimes, when they have hurt you unknowingly and have no idea that you are struggling to forgive them.
Why? Because we are usually under the misconception that we will be doing them a favor by forgiving them.
That in fact, is not the case. When we forgive someone, we actually do ourselves a huge favor because through forgiveness,
we release all the negative thoughts, emotions and energies that we are so desperately holding onto in our anger.
Replaying the moment again and again in our mind, torturing ourselves in so many ways.
It hurts us more than them, when we dont forgive.
We find it hard to forgive because we think we are in the more powerful position when we hold back forgiveness.
Actually we are the weak ones, if that's the kind of power we rely on to give us strength.
We are also not able to forgive because we take everything so personally.
Not everything another person does is done with the concious intention of hurting you.
Sometimes they are just trying to protect themselves and that's the best they way they know how to protect themselves.
Haven't you heard of the saying 'the best defence is offense'? We need to give allowance to others for their insecurities
and their imperfections without taking things personally.
So even if you do it for the most selfish of reasons, go ahead and forgive.
First, forgive yourself for holding onto the grudge for as long as you did.
Then, forgive the other person.
Finally, be proud of yourself.