Based on the intrinsic complexity of personal feelings, there are an endless number of reasons why relationships fail. However, I believe there are 3 primary factors that form the basis for which every other problem stems. When a relationship turns sour you can be sure that at least 1 of these 3 factors is to blame.
1. Do I really like her, or just her gestures? – Everyone loves attention. When a member of the opposite s*x goes out of their way to make you aware of it, it feels good. If they repeat the action a few more times and you return the favor, a shallow relationship forms. The true measure of compatibility occurs shortly there after. Once the initial excitement of this attention wears thin, what are you left with? Do you really like who this person is, or did you just enjoy their gestures? On occasion people you like will take actions you dislike. Likewise, people you dislike will get your attention by taking actions you do like. It’s important to understand both sides and be capable of distinguishing between the two.
2. We have stability and reliability, but I’m bored. – Once a relationship gets serious this is one of the top killers. We all want excitement in our lives. One of the most exciting things in life is discovering the unknown. Curiosity is what keeps us moving forward, but one must learn to properly hone curiosity. The first part of a serious relationship is primarily about the discovery of your partner’s entire aura. But once you know everything about them, where do you turn for a source of excitement? The answer is quite simple. Discover new things and create new experiences together. The only thing more fulfilling than a new experience is the act of sharing that same experience with someone else.
3. She has wonderful qualities, but I get stuck on her flaws. - It’s always easier to destroy than to create. Likewise, it’s easier to be negative than it is to be positive. Many relationships fail because both parties concentrate their attention on their partner’s flaws instead of the qualities they love about them. You learn the most about somebody by figuring out their strong points, rather than disputing their weak points. Over time both partners can work on their weak points collectively, so long as each person keeps a positive attitude and an honest line of communication. Keep in mind that it is impossible work on the weak points of a relationship if you are incapable of seeing your partner’s strong qualities.
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