After doing some serious self-introspect [which I should have done 5 years ago when I joined CA back in 2016 and had immediately figured out CA is not my cup of tea] and decided that I will quit CA for good. Reasons:

1) I am about to turn 27.
2) I did not commence my articleship yet.

In mid-2016, I graduated with B.Com (H) scoring a mere 47%. I was not eligible for appearing for MBA entrance exams due to my underwhelming achievement, so I decided that I would give my best once I join CA (I clearly had fallen for society's "nothing is impossible if you try" saying). So bad marks in graduation also meant that direct-entry route was blocked for me. Hence I enrolled for CPT and cleared it in Dec, 2016.

This is when I should have realized that CA is not my thing. Why? The competition felt too tough for me. In November 2016, when my mother was hospitalized - after tuition, I had to visit her, then go home and study till late nights. Life was like a U-turn from my easy-going, uncompetitive B.com days. Anyways, in those 4 months of preparing for CPT, I sometimes had suicidal thoughts - I don't know why - but I am almost certain it was because of the study pressure. [I was never a meritorious student. I had scored 63% and 75% in my 10th and 12th board exams respectively.] This CA entrance exam made life hell for me, but I was determined, headstrong that if I do not pass the entrance exam in one attempt, it will be a matter of immense shame and I might give up CA.

Unfortunately, I passed. And then, as I enrolled for IPCC in Feb, 2017, and joined classed, the level of competition in the class room environment soon drove me into depression. By mid-June, I was seeing a Psychiatrist and stopped going to classes. My eye sight became worse (no longer have 20/20 vision in my right eye) - might be due to study pressure - and chronic migraine, too, had to settle in my life. My age was 22 already, but there was a sense of unawareness in me that how fast time was flying by and there is so much distance left to cover in this CA journey. In 2017, I gave no exams. I seemed to have forgotten the fact that I am yet to start my 3 years of mandatory articleship - I blame depression and my poor health for this ignorance.

The anti-depressants did not help, so I had to give them up and had to recover on my own. In July, 2017, I remember, I did not sleep at all - the entire month! No thanks to the anti-depressants and the useless Psychiatrist who used to tell me every time I visited him: "You should continue CA; you are made for it. Just do it. Who's stopping you? What's bothering you?" He used to see me for less than a minute and seemed more busy with his phone than he was worried about his patient. I feel like I should have taken career advice instead of visiting a Psychiatrist in the first place. Anyways.

In May, 2018, I attempted 1st group and scored 196/400, thus failing by 4 marks overall - and not to forget - scored just 29 in Law. I felt heart-broken. Delirious! My mother encouraged to not give up (my father had passed away when I was 12 yrs old). Therefore, I continued my struggle. In Nov, 2018 and May, 2019 I failed too in 1st group. Cost Accounting was my weakness - I used to fail every time in this.

In Nov, 2019 I finally passed group 1. I was 25 by the time results came out and still I did not bother to start my articleship - I blame my ignorance for this. Also, I thought I wouldn't be able to clear Group 2 along with articleship because of factors such as migraine, study time would be affected, so I decided to postpone joining articleship. Little did I realize, that I was letting myself be too much comfortable.

In May 2020, exams got cancelled due to pandemic. In Nov 2020, I passed Group 2. A month later, in December, when I joined ICITSS sessions online - that was the time when my eyes opened w.r.t articleship for the first time. I was like "What have I done all these years! Why are the rest so young?!" All the other students in the batch were max 22 years old, and I am 26. Funny thing is - by the time they will be 26, they will have completed their articleship and I would 30 - a loser with no work experience and a trash CV.

So bottom-line is: it took me 4 years and 5 attempts to clear Intermediate without articleship. So, that's kind of hard worker and meritorious I am! Totally unforgivable. Yes, I know now that I have realized. A second wave of depression kicked in my life even before the second wave of the virus. I am doomed!

Long story short: I need a way out! Another career option. I will turn 27 this December, and I am stuck at one place, unable to decide what to do with my life. Suicide is not an option, I acknowledge that. I want to be successful in life though. But with the level of education I have completed - a somehow B.com (h) grad and CA inter pass with no experience whatsoever - my chances of landing in a good job is next to impossible.

What advice could you possibly give to a miserable fellow like me?