jokes :-)

"ALCHOL ISNT THE ANSWER TO ALL QUESTIONS" -SWAMI VIVEKANAND;  BUT IF YOU DONT GET THE ANSWER IT HELPS YOU TO FORGET THE QUESTIONS" -VIJAY MALLYA 

 During Recent IPL auctions, Dr. Vijay Mallya drank beer a little too much and bid for Mohammed Kaif...  thinking it was Katrina Kaif !.  

Kingfisher assistant: Sir, pichle 15 dino me 1 bhi bottle nahi biki.
Vijay Mallya: University me phon lagao, pucho CA ke results kab aa rahe hain.