I know i need to study again for may attempt,but i hav lost interest
,i read many articles of motivation,but motivation is not a concern 4 me at all. Its only dat i hav d same problem as one of d CCI member mentioned i.e. not to practice sums before hand nd only practice it in exams.
This HABIT has been 4m school days nd i just cant get over it even now.
Cleared Grp 1 in 1st attempt without adequate preparation nd dat too wen i got ill during papers Then,Passed B.com with 76% mks from Mumbai Univ. in exams held in April.With 12 days left after that for exams and Not being prepared 4 d 2nd Grp watsoever(Concepts/Practice) i studied Cost/FM 4m Scanners and Tax and IT/SM 4m Padhuka and gav d exams confidently.Failed d grp by just 12 mks in agg. nd dat too mainly coz of CFM-38mks.
Then for my 3rd attempt i bought Padhuka 4 CFM too nd started studying seriously 4 d Nov.10 attempt in the zest to clear my concepts nd cover each nd every chpter which i cudnt quite do in my previous attempts and abbove all to pass wid good mks to boost my confidence 4 final.. .Also read theory part twice before exam.Gav d exams confidently nd was sure of the steps and d way i was solving d practical papers(without practice this time too).
In CFM,Theory of CFM didnt go dat well in last quest. of d paper which was of 16 mks as it was required to discuss d points it nd i just wrote 3-4 lines just mentioning wat were d points..Also cudnt quite tally Memo.Reco.A/c sum.Dats it rest of paper i know went well especially Contract A/c sum nd Receivables Management sum nd Leverage sum.Cudnt prepare Process A A/c in Process costing sum due to time factor rest other A/cs of dat sum were done correctly i presumeAll other theory quest. barring d last 16mks quest. i mentioned went really well.
In Tax,calculation nd deduction mistakes did me in nd not d steps.Did mistakes of deductions from total income in Cap.Gains sum nd Salary sum.In d 1st quest. VAT sum went a little wrong as i excluded CST-2% nd Duty paid on imports-20% 4m their respective amounts,rest d steps were right.Other quest. apart 4m these paper went well without mistakes i presume especially d theory ones.
Put in my best effort i cud hav in IT/SM nd d paper went OK too.
Then after waiting for 2.5 long months d dreadful result of mine was placed in front of my eye.Shocked and surprised to see d following mks i felt devastated and argued d same with myself as i cudnt believe it to be true.The mks. were as follows:
CFM- 36 ,Tax-41,IT/SM-54.
These were d practical subjects in which i expected a min. of 55mks after evaluating 4m examiners point of view.But dat didnt happen nd i fear will never happen coz wen i gav my best to my limits (both preparation wise nd exam wise) i scored poorly den i scored wen i was unprepared nd knew only few things nd even d papers didnt go that well.
Does this mean dat i shud not work hard nd i will pass coz dats wats happened in my life so far(school,college,CPT,PCC-Grp 1).I worked hard to pass 4 d 1st time to be in CA final desperately but i flunked nd my hopes were dashed.Probably the papers were easy nd dat cud b d reason dey wanted 100% correct answers nd may b dey didnt give any mks step wise.
I really dont know wat to do to pass nd how nd which areas to improve apart 4m practicing d sums part .I dont know if it will work but still hav to do it,though dis time without any expectations as i hav let myself down apart 4m family.
Was sad last time wen i flunked coz i knew had i worked hard i wud hav passed.I did work hard this time around nd failed miserably.Life is full of twist nd turns nd it turned around quite badly 4 me this time.Feels humiliating wen others r getting ranks nd passing in 1 or 2 or even 3 attempts atleast,but going till 4th attempt that too in PCC is worse 4 me atleast.No i hav not lost control of myself/mind,its just dat it feels bad.But i will try to overcome this failure of life and improve some areas which i need to address and hope 4 d best.
In the end Wahi Hoga Jo Manzure Khuda Hoga.
CAclubindia
