GOD GOES HIGH TECH !!!!

Techie God :Someone has a good imagination, I Hope you

like

it...............................

Over the past several years, we have all learned to

live with IVRS - 'Inter-active Voice Response System'

as a necessary part of modern life. I was just

wondering what would happen if God decides to go

hi-tech and installs voicemail? I gave it a lot of

thought and came up with various scenarios:

Let us imagine a scenario. You dialled God's number.

'Hi! Thank you for calling God. Please select one of

the following:

If you are Christian, dial 1

All Hindus, dial 2

All Muslims, dial 3

All others, dial 0.'

So, lets say you are a Hindu and you dialled 2. Here

is what you hear:

Press 1 for Requests

Press 2 for Thank you messages for God

Press 3 for Complaints about unfulfilled promises

Press 4 for All other inquiries.

If your prayers are still not answered, dial '0' and

ask for Naradmuni.'

Or, if all Gods were busy, you might hear this:

'We are sorry, all our Gods are busy helping other

Bhaktas and Sinners.

However, your prayer is important to us and will be

answered in the order it

was received. Please stay on line. One of the Gods

will be with you soon.'

Or, it could even go this way when you start praying:

'If you know your God's extension, dial it now.'

Or, you might hear this:

'If you would like to speak to Ganeshji, Press 1.

For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.

For Lord Krishna, Press 3.

To confess your sins, press 4.

To ask for favours, Press 5.'

Or, you might even hear this:

'You have reached Lord Krishna's extension. I am going

to be away to

conduct a special yuddha to save the humanity and will

be away until the

year 2012. If this is something urgent and cannot wait

until then, call

Shankara at GB +44 779000020000 Call. If you want to

speak to someone

else, for other gods' directory, Press 6 now.'

Or you might even hear something like this if you call

toward the end of your life cycle:

'If you think you have reservations at our Heavenly

Resort, please provide

your name, social security number and be ready to

provide the proof of your

eligibility. If you do not have the proof of

eligibility, please dial

420-HELL and ask for General Manager Ravana, who will

be happy to help you.'

Or, depending on the purpose of your call, you might

hear this:

'If you are calling to find out if a loved one has

been assigned to

Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her 'mantra' number,

then press the 0 key. If you get a negative response,

try area code 420-HELL.'

For all you know in this day and age of quotas and

all, you might even get a response like this:

'Our computer records show that you have already

prayed once today. Please hang up and try again

tomorrow.'

Or you might even here this if you call on the wrong

day:

'This Main Office of Heaven is closed for DIWALI

holidays. If this is an emergency, you may try our

Himalayan Retreat in the mean time by dialling

6000-31,000.'

So, let us hope and pray that God never learns about

computers - because if he does, we are in BIG trouble!