Fact of life

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS 



Smart man + smart woman = romance 

Smart man + dumb woman = affair 

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage 

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

____________ _________ _________ 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC 



Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production 

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime 

____________ _________ ________ 



SHOPPING MATH 



A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. 

____________ _________ ________ 



GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS 



A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

____________ _________ ________ 



HAPPINESS 



To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a 

little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to 

understand her at all. 

____________ _________ _________ 



LONGEVITY 



Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a 

lot more willing to die.

____________ _________ _________ 



PROPENSITY TO CHANGE 



A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. 

____________ _________ ________ 



DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE 



A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 

____________ _________ ________ 



HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED 

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs 

and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I