Enjoy the jokes

Accounts (accountant) (37 Points)

24 June 2009  


 
1  Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
Berth...
 
2   Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at night,
nobody Will b there....... ......
 Girl goes at night & really nobody was there
 
 3  A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C.
 After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for
 Filling up. U knows y?
 FORM said " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".
 
 4  A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered
huge Loss.
 Do u know what the business was? . . . .. .
 He opened a Saloon in Punjab !.
 
 5 A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
 Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
 A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
 
 6  Sardar-why r all these people running?
 Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
 Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
 others running?
 
 7  Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
 Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
 again twins & named Max & Climax.
 Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them
 TIRED&RETIRED!
 
 8  19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME
 IN A BIG GROUP OF 19? THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS
 ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...
 
 9  A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face
 in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat
 him why?
 He said "SMILE PLEASE"
 
 10  Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
 into future tense.
 Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
 
 11  Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs
 tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why
 he does this.
 Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
 
 12  Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
 mouth....... ......... . WHY?
 because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should
be light"_-=
 
 13  Sardarji was filling up application form for a job.
 He was not sure as to   what   to be filled in
column "Salary Expected".
 After much thought he wrote : Yes!
 
 14  SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY.
 HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF
 - I SARDAR, SHE   SARDARNEE,
 THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....
 
 15  One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to
 his college.
 U knw Why?
 Because he wanted to check where the question paper
is leaking...
 
 16  Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
 Servant: It"s already raining.
 Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
 
 17  Santa! Your daughter has died!
 Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
 At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
 At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
 At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa
 
 18  ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS
 HIM,DARLING ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING? 

 HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER
 
 19  Sardar found the answer to the most difficult
 question ever - What will come first, Chicken or
 egg?
 O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
 
 20  A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was
 laughing.
 A bystander: why are u laughing?
 Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch
 network is following me.
 
 21  Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
 Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
 Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs
 back.!
 
 22  A teacher told all students in a class to write an
 essay on a cricket match.
 All were busy writing except one Sardarji.He wrote
 "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
 
 23  Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This
 Packet Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u
 could have posted it....
 
 24  What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
 He will compare it with the original for any
 spelling mistakes.
 
 
 25  Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder
 to you'........ ...
 Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you
 NEXT YEAR.
 
 
26  WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT
 EMERGENCY?
 ** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.
 
 
27  Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
 Sardar says... Drink quickly..... ..
 Wife asks why...
 sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
 
28  A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
 Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
 Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll
 apply NEXT YEAR
 
29 Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa
 who died peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like
 all d passengers in d car he was driving..
 


30    Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible
 looking thing is what you call modern art ?
 Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
 
32 Sardar was writing something very slowly.
 Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
 Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't
 read very fast..
 
33  Sardar news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard
 in Punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500
 bodies and are still digging for more..
 
 34  A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes
 walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji
 replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".
 
35 Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man
 says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
 Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last
 words.
 It is 'U R STANDNG ON  OXYGEN  TUBE!"
 
3 6  Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with
 his eyes closed.
 His wife asked what you are doing ?
 He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping.