Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you."
An accountant applies for the position of Chief Financial Officer. There are a number of candidates and he is called in for an interview. They ask him a number of questions and one of the panel suddenly says "What is nine multiplied by four?"
He thinks quickly and says "Thirty five." When the interview is over he goes outside, takes out his calculator and finds the correct answer is not thirty five. He thinks "Well, I blew that" and goes home very disappointed.
Next day he is rung up and told he has got the job. "Wonderful," he says, "but what about nine multiplied by four? My answer wasn't right."
"We know, but of all the candidates you came the closest."
Three accountants go to the men's room to relieve themselves.
The first one finishes and walks over to the basin to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry them carefully, using paper towel after paper towel until every spot of water is gone. He turns to the other two accountants and says, "CPAs are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second one goes over to the basin, washes his hands and then dries them with one paper towel, using every corner of it until every spot of water is gone. He says, "Chartered Accountants are trained to be extremely thorough but also extremely efficient."
The third accountant walks straight to the door. "Management Accountants learn never to piss on themselves."
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