CA AYUSH AGRAWAL (Kolkata-Pune-Mumbai) 17 September 2012
It’s a known fact that women are complex creatures. We, as women understand that too. But that does not excuse some of the behavior that comes our way. We may not know exactly what we want but we definitely know what we don’t want. From men who come on too strong to the nonchalant breed, we’ve seen it all and come out stronger. In addition, times have also evolved drastically. More than the feeling of wanting to be independent and have our own careers and opinions (yes we have them) we feel as if we deserve all that and much more. Men receive a lot of dating advice, from friends to mothers. Some of it is useful while the rest is useless. If you don’t want to send a woman screaming in the opposite direction, then don’t commit any of the following mistakes.
1) Acting Cheap
Even in today’s modern times, chivalry is appreciated. While it’s true that you don’t want the sort of women who runs behind a fat wallet, we are drawn to men to can protect us and provide for us. This includes picking up the tab, at least the first few times (without whining about it). This does not mean that you have to blow your paycheck by taking her to the most expensive restaurant in town. Simply taking her out for a nice meal at a decent restaurant will send across the signal that you’re a man who knows how to take care of a woman. Boasting about how much you make but not dishing out the goods when needed? Major turnoff and we will rethink how much you actually like and respect us. Treat her for a meal the first few dates and by the third or fourth date, she herself will suggest splitting the bill or even offer to pick it up. Make her pay earlier on, she’ll rethink whether she wants to have a future with you.
It does not matter to us if you look like the Ranbir Kapoor’s cousin if you don’t have attitude to go with it. Nothing screams desperate more than being clingy from day one. Being constantly needy and insecure will not make us special. Instead you will lose a few points in the respect column. Women are attracted to a man’s attitude and confidence. We want a man who can take care of us, not a scared little boy who needs reassuring every five minutes. If you want her to hang around, then give her some space of her own. Show her how strong and great you are even without her and see how she chases you.
3) Acting too nice
It’s a fact that women love compliments. However, we also know when we deserve them and when we don’t. Telling her she looks hot when she’s feeling a little low will earn you brownie points but showering her with compliments non-stop will have the opposite effect. She’ll think you’re being insincere and fake. Act like a man and make her work for her compliments. Women love challenges just as much as men do! Plus, we both know you won’t be able to keep the façade forever, so just tone it down a bit and show her the real you. Agreeing with everything a woman says and does is also a big no-no. This does not make us like you more. Rather you come off as having no opinion or spine. Even though it may not seem like a good idea at the time, standing up for your beliefs and opinions will earn her respect in the long run.
4) Coming on too strong
There is a difference between letting her know that you’re interested and tell her how your life has changed since you met her. While it may feel great to dive into a new relationship headfirst, getting too caught up in a new relationship is unhealthy. A woman will lose interest in you if you show her how besotted with her you are in the first few weeks. Instead, make her work for it. If she can get all your affection and time easily, she won’t be satisfied with it. Ease yourself into the relationship gradually instead of showing too much interest earlier on.