TAXPERTS' REPLY ON TAXATION IN INDIA (Humourous)

CA. Dashrath Maheshwari (TaXpert) (15090 Points)

23 February 2008  

Some one Help me on TAX......... . .



1) Qus. : What are you doing? 
Ans. : Business.


Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!



2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.


Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!



3) Qus. : >From where are you getting Goods?
Ans.. : From other State/Abroad


Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!



4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.


Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!



5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend


Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax



6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.


Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!



7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes


Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!



8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes


Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!



9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes


Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!


Ans : No


Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax



10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.


Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!



11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel


Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!



12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes


Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!



13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans.. : Yes


Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!



14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.


Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!


15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?


Ans. : Yes


Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!



16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.


Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!



17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes


Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !



17.1)Que.: Do you invest in shares? ?
Ans. : Yes


Tax: Pay Security Transaction Tax



18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus


Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!



19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes


Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!



20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes


Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!



21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!