- Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
- Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
- Learn from your parents' mistakes; use birth control.
- Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
- "My cousin is gay; in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies." ~ Rodney Dangerfield
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
- We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone!
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.
- I like work..It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
- Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing.
CAclubindia
