Market Updates in times of recession:

1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off
 
2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate
 
3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs.
 
4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money
 
5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
 A: Start off with a large one.
 
6.  The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now America’s third biggest lender.
 
7.  Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
  A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
 
8.  Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?
  A: In a few weeks, nothing.
 
9.  Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Jones".
 
10. Quote from a Wall Street banker:
"This is worse than divorce. I’ve lost half of my assets and I still have my wife…!!!!.."