lets laugh

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."

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The president of a large corporation opened his directors meeting by
announcing, "All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to
propose will reply by saying, 'I resign'

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Q: What's the difference between people who pray in church and those
who pray in casinos?
A: The ones in the casinos are serious

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When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God
doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

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Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the
trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly
testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was
closed for lack of evidence.

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A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to
concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs,
the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"? "Yep," the
husband replied, "In-laws."

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A little boy went up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did all of
my intelligence come from?" His father replied, "Well, son, you must
have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine."

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The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an
equal and opposite philosopher.
The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong

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Sunny's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Sunny seems to
be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about
girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please
advise. I have the same problem with his Father."