Keeping Your Cool
With all the stress and pressure in our lives, it is easy to lose our cool at the slightest irritation. While we are rushing home from work at the end of another exhausting day, we scream at the slow driver in front of us who apparently has all the time in the world. While we shop at the grocery store, we get annoyed with the stock clerk who sends us to the wrong aisle when we are in search of the ingredients for tonight's special dish. And while we are eating our dinner, we yell at the telemarketer who has nerve to interrupt us in an attempt to sell us their latest wares.
The problem with losing our temper on a daily basis is that it becomes a habit. And like most habits, a time arrives when it becomes a second nature. Personal relationships start unraveling, business partnerships begin to fall apart and your credibility decreases. Effective people are consistent and, in many ways, predictable. Keeping your cool in a moment of crisis can save you years of pain and anguish. Hurtful words unleashed in a single minute of anger have led to many a broken friendship or relationship. Words are like arrows: once released, they are impossible to retrieve. So choose yours with care. An excellent way to control temper is
``Three Gate Test'' as practiced by ancient sages. The ancient sages would only speak if the words they were about to utter passed three gates. At the first gate, they asked themselves, Are these words truthful? If so, the words could pass on to the second gate. At the second gate, the sages asked, Are these words necessary? If so, they would then pass on to the third gate, where they would ask, Are these words kind? If so, then only they leave their lips and be sent out into the world.
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