PMS would be a legitimate defense in court. Men would get reputations for sleeping around. Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets. A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing. Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds. Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity. "Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models. Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime. Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.. Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks" Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made. Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas. Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit." Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments. Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking. Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car. All toilet seats would be nailed down. Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers. TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute. All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds. Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly. After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot. For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year olds for six weeks. |
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