Communicating verbally – face to face
• A vital starter: ‘Get your brain into gear before
Opening your mouth’.
• Be aware of the limits of the spoken word.
Spoken communication is likely to be the first response when prompted to list forms of communication, but be aware of its limitations. It’s commonly stated that over 90 per cent of the communication of attitudes and feelings is conveyed not verbally but through nonverbal means.
• Words, once spoken, are difficult to take back.
Words are unlike letters in their immediacy – when you write a letter, compose a text or type an email you can edit it before sending. So the spoken word is a spontaneous and powerful too, but can also be dangerous.
• Control your tone of voice and emphasis.
The tone in which you speak can radically alter the meaning of what you are communicating, particularly when combined with non-verbal facial expressions.
• Try not to butt in while your client is talking.
The best kind of conversation is two-way, with neither person dominating it. Of course, this may be difficult with someone who is very talkative, and you may have to find a kind way of getting a word in edgeways.
• Recognize your vocal style.
Listen carefully to other people’s speech. Is it, for example, clipped, relaxed, officious, reassuring, judgemental, furtive or attractive? What about the rhythm? Is it disjointed, making it hard to follow what is being said, or flowing and easy on the ear? Does the
intonation help to maintain interest, or is the delivery very flat and likely to make the mind wander? Is there adequate stress on important words or phrases?
• Take care in dealing with a person whose accent
is not easy to understand.
Embarrassing situations can arise if each person is constantly having to say to the other: ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that’, ‘Pardon’ or ‘Would you mind repeating that’, whether the communication is face to face or over the phone. If at all possible, try to find out beforehand whether or not the person with whom you will be dealing originates from an area of your own country which has a strong accent or speaks English as a second language. If you have an accent yourself, it can be helpful to mention it.
• Be aware that even if someone understands you
speaking, he or she may not necessarily be able
to answer.
Some people may be able to understand spoken or written English well, even though they have difficulty in speaking or writing in English themselves. This is another of the ways in which people do not fit neatly into boxes.
• Remember that there are huge differences in the
way the same words are used or interpreted.
This does not only apply to different races, but also to social classes and even regions. Learn the local version!
• Try to avoid using ‘we’ inappropriately, especially
early on in a client relationship.
When we say, for example, ‘We know that…’ or ‘We’ll try this approach’, this assumes that the person opposite is in agreement…they may not be! ‘We’ can mean ‘you and I’, ‘our organization’ or ‘one’ (the socalled ‘royal we’), so when you use the word be sure that you know what you mean, and, more importantly, that the client knows what you mean.
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