flash back of a CA

Banner in front of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India ....



"Drive slowly, don't kill our students.... . leave them to us...."



What is CA?



PE-I-Alpenlibe- Ji lalchaye raha na jaye. 

PE-II-Mentos- Dimag ki batti jala de. 

ARTICLES-Kinetic- Sabki hawa nikal de.



FINAL-Chlormint- Dubara mat poochna.





We had many options to end our life

Poison, Sleeping pills, Hanging,

Jump from building, Sleep under a train..

But we choose the bravest... Education (CA).





Aansu aa jate hai aankho me rone se pehle,

Har khawab tut jata hai sone se pehle!

Kya hai CA ye to samajh gaye,

Kash koi rok leta admission hone se pehle.



Are you-

Emotionally Numb?

Romantically Starved?

Creatively Challenged?

Artistically Void?

Socially Outcast?

Congratulations You are a CA Student!!



Teacher: Osama has 5 wifes and 20 Children, 

Laloo has 1 wife and 9 children. Who is better? 

CA Student: Osama's NPV is good but Laloo's IRR is better.



AUDITOR

A-accounting and others

U-underlying

D-data and

I-information

T-to give an

O-opinion in

R-the audit report



Irritating audits, Fighting on stupid issues,

Everyday classes, Dangerous boss,

More expenditure, Less stipend,

People call it ARTICLESHIP, We call it LIFE.



CA on his death bed:

My wife, are you here?

"Yes dear"

My daughter, are you here?

"Yes dad"

My son, are you here?

"Yes dad"

MY ARTICLES, ARE YOU HERE?

"Yes SIR"

KAMiNO fir OFFICE me kaun hai.



Upcoming horror movies in CA:

-Boss bana shaitan

-Tadapta article

-Khatarnak syllabus

-B.L. ka badla

-2nd group ki pyas

-Khooni result

-Wo aakhri attempt



Kash koi "Exam Result" ka insurance kara deta,

To har exam ke pehle premium bharwa dete,

Pass hote to thik hai,

Varna insurance claim karva lete.



Ye India ka CA hai bidu,

40 mile to tali bidu,

Attempt lage to gali bidu,

Hua exempt to bole jhakhas,

39 lage to satyanash,

Pass ho to thaat hai,

Fail ho to vaat hai.



5 Years

50 Laws

500 Lectures

5000 Practicals

50000 Sections

500000 Rules

A normal human being can't bear it.

The remaining abnormals are called 

CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS. .... 





CA gaali de to kya dega?

Saale bounced cheque,

Dharti pe liability,

Paidaishi bad debts,

Dishonoured bill,

Insolvent aadmi,

Itna marunga ki balance nahi bachega.