Excellent thoughts 4rm Man's heart

Manikanta Raju CA,CWA,(CS) (Industry) (4482 Points)

15 October 2010  
Thought # 1

When we are born, our mothers  get the compliments and the flowers.  
When we are married,  our brides get the presents and the publicity.  
When we die, our widows get the life  insurance.
What do women want to be liberated  from?

Thought 2

The average man's life consists of:  

Twenty years of having his mother ask  him where he is going,  

Forty years of having his  wife ask the same question;  

and at the end, the mourners wondering  too where he is going.

Thought  3

Everyone in the  wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father  escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.  

They  reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her  father and placed something in his hand..  

Everyone in the room  was wondering what was given to the father by the  bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air  and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say  something. So he announced :
'Ladies and Gentlemen.   Today is the luckiest day of my life ...'   Then he  raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and  continued,    
'My daughter finally,  finally returned my  Credit Card to me.'

The whole audience including the priest  started laughing . . . . .      

But not the poor Groom ! !  !

And  now  the  Best   one. . . . .

Thought  4  

A Man was  walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind,   'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on  your head and kill you.'

The man stopped and a big  brick fell right in front of him.  
The man was astonished.   

He went on, and after a  while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice  shouted,  'Stop !  Stand still !  If you take  one more step a car will run over you, and you will  die.'

The man did as he was instructed,  just as a  car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.   The man asked. 'Who are you?'

'I am your guardian  angel,' the voice answered.

'Oh, yeah?'  the man  said  'And where the hell were you when I got  married?