Chartered accountant ki love story

ATUL SHARMA (NA) (44 Points)

14 November 2012  


Love Ya Always…
The story behind a Chartered Accountant’s marriage.. ;)

(These are just the three sample chapters of my novel. The novel may or might not be published soon. In case you guys feel interested in the book please catch me inform me on facebook  id : lablooatul @
© Atul Sharma
No part of this document may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form using what-so-ever media without the written consent of Atul Sharma or any other person authorized by Atul Sharma for this purpose.
CHAPTER 1 - What’s up with her.
I could make out that she was sad. Fine, it was Facebook where we were chatting and so I didn’t see those rolling tears, but then something told me all was not well. Her “offo”, “oh please”, “arrey baba” which used to come out anytime I chatted with her were missing. She was drawing those smileys way too often. That desire to cut each of my arguments no matter supplied with whatever proof was not there.
“Everything is fine yaar. How many times would you ask that”, she typed and was offline. Offline before I could ask anything else. I could have called her but then, she had forbidden me not to as there was always the risk of her dad picking up. We normally converse on phone late midnights taking full advantage of free reliance to reliance scheme and of course her parents sleeping.
“Call you at 9.” I left a message for her. Yes I couldn't wait till midnights - When it comes to her, I am always impatient.
The clock read 9- Both, the one on the wall and that on my computer taskbar. And here I was in my office. Hoards of annual reports of various companies lay strewn in front of me with calculator being used as the paper weight. The TV was showing some business channel in mute mode. I never care which business channel - what matters is the share market price that is displayed at the bottom. If a cartoon channel displays the same, I won’t really mind watching that as well. I always felt the need that Fashion TV should display these share market prices but then, that was never to happen.
And yes, the call was still on the back of mind. But then, papaji before leaving told me to keep that file of some Chandu Agarwala ready. And Agarwalaji could have been arriving any moment.
“ Ravi, take this special prasad. Just came from Khatu Shyama Mandir today. Take some for your family too. What the file is ready?”, I was greeted by first client.
I took the prasad ate some and pulled the chairs out for our new customer. My father always had this habit of beginning the discussion himself but for it was my first time I began,
“Welcome sir, father says a lot about you and how you are a self made man. I was just taking a look at the file you had mailed us. Heard you are about to make a new hospital”, I said as the file was download to my computer.
“Yes, you know how my father died last month and from then on I had this thing of either to start a hospital or a school. I am still in doubts over the two.”
I calculated - this time without calculators, pen and pencil but with business sense. Hospitals give recurring work to consultants as there are more financial complexities hence better for us.
“Schools are a good option too Agarwalaji but I believe a hospital would be better. It is better both from a business perspective and a charity way- you could take money from rich people and treat poor people for nominal charges. And think, taoji (sethji’s father) died from heart attack. What better homage to him than to built a hospital in his name?”
I had delivered my perfect line and from there we discussed deeds to be made, documents to be prepared, the tax benefits and different financial benefits that the hospital will give over two cups of coffee and a plate of samosa. We like others in our profession had this habit of making our clients feel like we are a part of a family and food was the best way for it. Nothing unites us Indians like food, I always believed.
Nothing makes us chartered accountants more successful than making our clients a part of the family either.
       After about one and half hours Agarwalaji said,
“I think hospital with your plan is fine but we should once consult Sharmaji”
Well Sharmaji here means my father. Phew I, another passed chartered accountant Sharma’s, advice was not just enough for them. Oh yes, I was not a Sharmaji for them but Ravi. Just Ravi!!! Perhaps the reason for that was my childish sort of face. Priya says this face makes me look cute and yes I like that but then when people don’t take me seriously because of this face, I hate it as well.
Construct what the f**k you want. Construct a memorial in memory of your father- who the hell cares. I wanted to tell him. I was already quite angry with him on arriving at that exact time when I was supposed to call my girlfriend. The ‘consult Sharmaji thing’ multiplied that.
Hiding my anger with another helping of samosa in his plates, I said,
 “Yes surely, papaji’s advice has to be definitely considered in big matters like this”, I said knowing fully well that his voice would be no different than mine. And with that he got up.
Our home was near the office and I reached my home by 11:00. After having dinner with family I went to sleep and checked my cell for messages as is a customary habit with me.
There were infinite blanks messages all from same number - Priya.
How did I forget? I had promised her that I will call her at 9 and it was all but 2 hours late. Two hours for me but not just 2 for her and the countless blank screens in my E71 stood proof for it.
I called her. Three calls and she disconnected every time. I messaged her,
“Why aren't you picking up. You know I care for you dear”
“Well at 9 what you did proved that you cared for me” she called in her sweet voice which also reflected her ire. But then something told me, that voice was missing the familiar excitement it does always have. Oh man, I heard her voice so many times a day yet I loved it so much.
And then what did I do? I was after all busy with a client. I for once and all want to make one thing clear to all readers of this novel right here. I am not someone who believes that love makes you blind to surroundings and all that sort of stuff. Very risky sort of revelation at the beginning of a love story novel but I don’t want to keep any of my readers in some false assumptions. I do love Priya more than my life and I can sacrifice all my wealth all my happiness for her but that does not mean that I will not attend the fifteenth question of ‘Kaun Banega Crorepati’ just because she says me not to. There has to be a practical reason to everything after all.
“Sorry Priya, after all your so called calcii was busy with a client”
“Oh please, then why did you call me now. I am sure you have enough clients to keep you busy and away from me. If not am sure, your father can lend you some”
“Priya all my clients till now are lended by my father only”, I said and realized the conversation was drifting from the main topic and said
“I am sorry sweetheart, just slipped from my mind. You know I love you. Muaahh”
“Clients never slip from your mind. Tata Steel and Reliance annual reports figures don’t slip either. How can you forget to call” she demanded.
“Sorry madam, once again”, I said.
“Oh, so this CA final rank holder is showing manners. Sir I would like to tell you one more thing, if you have done two mistakes, say sorry for both.”
“Two”, I said astonished.
“Yes two, why you didn’t reply to my 126 blank messages”
“Priya, the phone was in the silent mode and there that client...” I tried to reason but then it suddenly struck me.... “Come on, you counted them??”
“Yeah Mr. Consultant, you thought only you are good at calculations. It was one message for one minute delay”
Oh so I was being reminded of the time delay in making the call. I wondered if the same scheme would work as reminder to clients who make delay in payment. One message per 15 minutes delay. Considering message packs are so cheap now days it is a frugal way and the client would also be so disturbed and irritated to make the payment. I laughed at myself at the imaginary caricature I had made of the irritated client in my mind.
“Why are you laughing” She said
“Oh!!  I am sorry twice then”, I said trying to control my belly-laugh.
“Whatever, bunk now”, she said.
“Anyways, when I chatted with you in the morning you sounded not so happy. Everything fine?” I asked.
“Yeah, everything is.” she said in a discomfited tone.
“Oh come on. Priya what is the matter. You didn't meet me yesterday citing some problem, went offline today without saying a bye. Something is surely there. At least tell yaar” I said out of concern.
“Let’s meet tomorrow.”She said. “Can’t tell everything over a phone”
Very right I thought. I had meetings tomorrow too. I wanted to meet her yesterday and she was not free. I had to complete a project delivery by the next day but the princess was sounding grim and had to be made happy, anyhow.
“Where should we meet?” I said.
“Can’t decide a place? You are better on Facebook than in real life”, she said
“Ok, let’s meet at Coffee House in Lake Town near your house. What Time? ” I asked
“9 in the morning.” She suggested.
Lying on the bed I was thinking staring at the wooden false ceiling, what is the matter that could have made her sad - did she had a fight with her 10 year old cousin brother again (yes that makes her unhappy) or that chocolate box I had gifted her few days back were over or no- if her father had came to know about our love story.
Well I know, one day I have to tell her father that dude I love your daughter and she loves me. Bring the pandit, let’s discuss the muhrats and have the pheras but was always stopped by her.
Her father’s belief in arrange marriages always affrighted her. Thus these things were kept hidden from parents of both the sides. But both our parents knew us that we were each other’s friends yet nothing more than that.
Maybe a chocolate box will make her feel comfortable in the morning I thought.
I had always been bad with girls and also with the one whom I so badly loved.
At this point of time, it is very much proper to give you a introduction to both of us though if you have not got a clue till now about it (that we guys love each other), some thing could be seriously wrong with the cerebrum part of your brain. If you fall in that category, please don’t rush to a doctor after reading this. These are cases where even the best medical practitioners can’t help.
I am Ravi Sharma if you take that to be a better introduction,  a chartered accountant and belonging to a family of chartered accountants. Priya or rather Priya Tiwari if surnames are necessary in introductions was a ‘Failed Final and still trying’ sort of student or with all due respect, a CA final student. Her decision to take CA course was not much encouraged by her parent both of whom were doctors. She herself was a very much pampered child of middle class parents. ‘I can pamper her as well’- was my dream dialogue to her parents though when I told it to Priya she found it a bit too bold.
                Now, like a Bollywood, Hollywood or any other “wood” movie, let me take you in flaash back as if there is a time machine that can take people ahead and back in time in seconds and take you to four years back to Ahirtola Bidyalaya, my CPT i.e CA enterance exam centre.
 You may be thinking that I am big moron to take you to a CPT exam hall when in present my love is sad and when you yourself have sat down to read a love story romantic sort of novel. Well I myself agree that I am a sort of moron but not hear please and no arguments on the matter as decision to take you to the Ahirtola Bidyalaya CPT centre four years back in 2006 is perfectly right.
I first met and saw Priya then.
CHAPTER 2 - First step to CA and her. (PAST)
Bills Receivable is an example of
A. Real account
B. Nominal account
C. Personal account
D. Representative personal account.
That was the first question in the paper and I wondered if the entire CPT paper would be that easy. I ticked (A) and was reading the second question when a soft voice from behind me asked, “What’s the first answer” I regretted the sort of students without basic accounts knowledge sitting for CPT these days, no wonder the pass percentage is so low. I ignored her but after I had answered a few six seven more questions, she again asked “Please, just help me out in accounts paper. I won’t disturb you the entire law part.”
                Now this please bit is always magical on us boys I tell you. The word may have the highest frequency in any piece an Indian politician’s speech or even politicians world over but people hardly care. But if a girl says it to you, one cannot just say no or say anything.  Specially if the girl is as sweet as the one behind me.
Yes I had been looking at that girl since morning, since setting foot at the examination hall that day. Yes I was looking at that super white skin, did check out those thin well sculpted hands, those awesome fingers, that long silky hair and that face which words fail to describe. I was staring at her as I was flipping the notes on Inventory valuation.
She had flawless complexion, was not very tall but not short either and had a tika on the forehead, and was looking very elegant in the yellow- pink salwar she was wearing- too shiny a dress by examination standards I had reflected to myself then.
Back now here in the examination hall I did help her out in many of the questions and was even then able to complete the paper. Quite ironical I was sitting at one of the most important examination of my life and was solving not only mine but also someone else’s paper even though I didn't know her name other then she was the ‘please queen’. Quite amazing what a few words by an awesome looking women’s lips can do. Solving her paper was also of course partly because I hoped that partly she will help me out in the law paper though the real reson was ofcourse that she was very beautiful, was a girl and I was a boy.
Eventually I saw that she was quite good at the law part. I found that only after the examination was over- there in the hall I was wondering if the answers given by her were even correct. Sorry I don’t have any fault here. The bills receivable question was still in the back of my mind.
“What is that closing stock answer? I don’t know it. Tell fast”
“2070”, I said
“Pakka”, she questioned
“YES!” I said in a muffled tone.
 “Hello Sir. Why don’t you sit beside that madam herself and solve her paper. Please sir. Sit in her lap and solve her paper”, came an around 40 inspector taking my paper in his hands. He was not the invigilator of our class but a Chartered Accountant Inspector who had come to inspect at the examination hall. What luck - I thought. Of all the entire paper I had to be cheating at those exact few moments for when he was in our class. But then, that’s the way luck works making me unlucky every other occasion.
“Sorry sir...please sir....I won’t do it again sir...” I was stammering. The girl who was the reason for all this holded her ears and whispered sorry.
God knows right, I was telling the answer to her and my paper was snatched. The girl was not even told a word.
People in every corner of the hall were now giving the exams as if they were the most honest folk born on Earth. The boy who almost snatched the sheet of the boy sitting in front of him was circling answers; eyes which used to scan answers on other sheets were reading the question (yes we had those people who were copying answers even without reading entire question)
Every person in the class at that instant wanted the CA inspector to leave. I wanted the same but only after he gave my papers. He was going on round in the room as he had my question paper and answer sheet in hand. He came back to my table with a super cunning smile
“All rubbish answers, Khud to kuch atta nahin hai aur chalen hain ganw ko batane”.
He said as he kept the answer sheet on my table.The girl who was minutes before saying sorry so strongly gazed at me as if I had told her all the wrong answers and would actually be the reason if she fails in the exams.
 “The answer is all right. Don’t give a look like this. Please”, I whispered.
“Hello Sir, Please Sir”, said the inspector as he snatched some one else’s paper.  So, even in that perspective we had someone with guts.
“Would you mind if I cancel your paper”, The CA invigilator asked.
“Actually sir, I would”, the boy tried to show some smartness as the man slapped him.
“Cheating even after I gave a last warning to this miss helper”, he said as he pointed to me. The entire class now looked at me while I was unfazed - most of them smiling. Even the girl behind me couldn’t resist a smile. To my irritation, the invigilator dimpled as well on the words he spoke.
 The man now dialled a number on his cell phone.
“Haan, Write this registration no. ERO......” he said as he was saying the boys roll no. Every student’s roll no. started with ERO. Come on say ahead but then I knew it was a fake call.
“Sorry sir”, the boy was telling.
“ERO. Yes right...ERO”, the person was talking.
“Sorry. Please last last warning. Won’t ever do it again Sir”, the boy pleaded.
 The man disconnected his fake call and handed the paper back.
“Last warning”
Finally when the examination was over she did manage thanks.
“Oh even you are quite good at law  and why did you laugh when I was caught...”I  wanted to discuss with her a lot of things but then that idiot yet one of my best friend Mr Bean a.k.a. Raj churiwal came and said
“What happened calculator, you must have toh phod diyo. Will top CPT huh??”
The girl suppressed her laughter, and with a brow over her eyes just moved her lips somewhat as if saying ‘Calculator’ without uttering the word as if she was surprised at me being called it.
Of course  even I didn’t liked that nick name being given it to me by my stupid friends but then I had helped her solved most difficult accounts sums a few minutes back and now she was showing surprise at me being called it. Ways by which attractive women insult us men -I thought.
Someone from below the window was shouting “chunni…..chunni” . The girl looked out of the window and shouted coming bhaiya. I wondered to myself if this Indian habit of shouting for people in front of homes, hospitals and places and now even examination halls was practiced elsewhere in the world. (Of course, Indians practice it worldwide. I meant by people other than Indians)
The girl moved past me and I noticed her slender figure some numberth (nth) time. The girl had right quantity of flesh at places where required. You are most likely to call it filmy but I loved it when she turned back only if for a nanosecond - her hands signalling a bye.
My stare just become a gaze and then Raj mockingly said, “Looking at what”
“Nothing” was all I could manage even though I was not able to remove my eyes from that slim waist.
“Doing calculations I suppose.” He said with a suppressed smile.
A smile unknowingly sported my face.
CHAPTER 3 - Friend’s Birthday bash.
Morning began early next day and I cooked a cake all by myself as gift for my beloved. Nothings more romantic than food I believed. Of course that didn’t mean it was the same reason why I served eatables to my clients. I had always been quite a good cook and one of Priya’s favourite and mine too was cake. So I made egg-less chocolate cake and served a few pieces to mom and father and Jyoti-my two years younger sister- the only person in our family who had knowledge of my love. She was perhaps more excited about it then even me, as if she was some five year old gal and I was Spiderman who was on a mission to save the world. I packed full eight pieces in a tiffin box and said to mom that I have to go to a friends birthday, so surprise gift for him. I reached cafe coffee house at 8:45 for priya always had an habit of arriving early. She was already there.
“Welcome mister, client meeting I suppose” she chuckled. I noticed the new P pendant she was wearing. P for ‘Priya’ or ‘please’ I guessed. She was looking as awesome as ever in that green salwar and beaded blue earrings and pinkish red nail polish. The girl had decided to wear kajal and eye gloss at 8:45 in the morning though she did not really need all that make up. She looked all the more beautiful without them but just the glow of freshness which one normally found in her face as was visible then. Her fingers were busy playing with white kerchiefs with COFFEE HOUSE printed on them. I stopped her by keeping those kerchiefs away from her hands not because her revolving those kerchiefs was irritating but because I could touch her hand that way as I removed those kerchiefs aside.
She didn't sound as grim as last night. I wondered if making the chocolate cake in sharp morning was required.
“Ya, infact it’s a client meeting with my weirdest client ever. She is called Miss Tiwari and hase a habit of disturbing accountants at the oddest hours”, I said.
“Haan right, but Priya madam is surely not one of your most important clients so why do you get so much bothered by her. She is surely one of those of your part time clients whom you remember in months only when all your other clients give you no work but never in months like say March.” She said her eyes showing spark and she smiling in a way giving got you bowled man look.
Yes these months are screwing months of a CA’s life with those tax return deadlines but what had that point any relation here.
I ordered two cups of coffee and butter sandwiches and opened the tiffin. The aroma of fresh cake filled the room. Coffee House guy in red shirts came to me and said ‘sir you cannot have outside food in the cafe.’ I told him that I already have bought something and was not killing time there. Further I took an Rs50 note out of my pocket as per my habit in such situations and slipped it into his. He saluted and left.
It’s always amazing how rules change with cash in this country.
“Chocolate cakes, Wow!!” she said holding my hands. I asked for a knife from the guy serving us coffee and he duly brought the same. The coffee was served to us. She signalled the waiter to go back and she served the coffee and sandwiches in two plates. I cut the cake in two pieces and she served it. Even then I felt something was missing. Forget the missing crap- I had already started being a bit too over romantic. Cutting the crap, I started eating.       
Her incisors cut the cake into small very small bites and was eating in a way only girls can at the same time kept on talking about things like how she was excited about her auntie’s brother’s father in laws brother’s sons marriage which she would not be able to attend and about how she has been voted the best dandia dancer three days ago in her cousion brother’s marriage- something about which she had told me many times in the last 36 hours.
And then discussions as always moved to Priya’s hobbies in some way - about sports and about Dandia dance. Phew buddies, my nature is a complete contrast to her’s. I use the sports page of a newspaper to eat bhel and the best dance floor I had ever hit is my bathroom where I practise a few steps daily while bathing.
God knows how she loved me. Of course I had to bowl out by her beauty, that smile and by her conversation style but what did she find in me??
“Sounds interesting, I believe the bride was jealous of you as you took all the attention as dandia girl. Found a new boy friend there or what while dancing” I pinched.
“Shut up, you must not be told anything. You are so.....”
Yeah, exactly what I wanted- Not to be told anything. And why did she always leave the sentence at “You are so..........” and never completing it. Just, cute like most of her other styles.
We talked and talked and I shared a few of my jokes with her. Somehow, I tried to bring the discussion to know why she was sad last night.
“Oh, leave it. I am not sad now for it. I have already thought its fine. By the way, you make cool cakes.”
Yes, quite right she was not sad now but I had full right to know why my princess was sad the day before. The reason must be found and eliminated or it will bite me in the ass afterwards.
I saw in one corner there was written, “Love happens here as we serve coffee”. I couldn’t agree more.
“Well” she started making her face smile “You know the
Commonwealth Games are about to be held this time in India in  Delhi in a month time”, while I was appreciating the way beads were dangling from her Salwar’s ends.
So, it’s about CWG again my mind frowned. She had told me about the CWG games the last many times and that she will go there in the opening ceremony with her parents. I had guessed it then that it was one of her number one priorities.
“But papa has some work here in Kolkata. Actually he is the chief guest on the opening of some new heart care hospital being constructed and so he said that we will be watching the programme on Television. I was feeling sad a bit but then they telecast the same things on television. So what is the problem.” she said with a convincing smile.
Yes, they telecast the same things on television and that too with English commentary- reason enough not to go to Delhi I supposed.
“In certain ways it’s good only. Why does our government waste so much money on sports? We can use the money to make schools, fight poverty and destroy all our enemies. India just kills all its enemies in movies be it ‘Mogambo’ or others but never in reality.”, I said.
Yes I had this very awkward philosophy that India should finish all its enemies like it did in Mr. India or the countless other movies. In a certain movie where the Kandahar aero plane hijack was filmed again, I remember that it showed that Indian army had gone to Pakistan and had destroyed the terror infrastructure there. If you call that stupid - it is but I had that ardent desire to recreate those movie scenes in reality.
“I know that there are news in media that it will fail, that the preparations are running behind schedule and how filthy the infrastructure is but you know my sixth sense says all will be good, the event will be a success.”, she said.
I looked in her blue eyes. So Small and swarm shaped. How did god make these delicate and cute things? And if he does, why in such rare quantity. Can’t men who can make so many hi tech machines construct beautiful women - the ones like Priya.
Can’t the best of sculptors make that structure. How much time did god take draw those eyes, to design that figure. There were no tears in them but somehow I felt that they were not happy at not being able to attend CWG. They looked cute now but they have always looked super cute when I saw in her eyes in the past an excitement for anything, in the recent past an excitement for attending the commonwealth.
 No I just couldn’t resist and I asked,
“ Do you want to go to the opening ceremony”
“You see it’s not possible now as.....”She was saying but I cut her short and surprised her with “We are going to the commonwealth opening extravaganza at Delhi.”
“How, you are surely mad Ravi...purely mad Ravi. You think my parents would allow me or you to go together to watch CWG. How do you get such crazy ideas man? Well, the coffee is quite nice” she said taking a sip.
I took  a sip too. “When Ravi says it will be done, sit back, relax and drink the coffee.” I repeated my patent dialogue with three last words changed to suit the surroundings.
She smiled and then I told her that I will tell her the plan afterwards and with that we both got up to leave, she still not being sure that I will find a solid foolproof way to take her to Delhi. The sandwiches were left untouched for the cakes and coffee had got us quite full.

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