Best one from back benchers !!!!!!!!!!!

Best one from Back Benchers .. Interview.. enjoy...

The BACK Benchers
One mind blowing interview Interviewer : Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did
my Tele Communication engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of
Technology. Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it
ute of Technology? I had never heard of
this college before!
Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of
it before getting an admission into it ..
What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a
paid seat in a good college. But my father
said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) – “I can
not invest so much of money”.(The baap
actually said – “I will never waste so much
of money on you”). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name –
BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have
taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to
finish it in 4 years. But you know, these
cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to
concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd
year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years. Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it ? You know I always
had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this
in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These
cricket matches really affect exams a lot.. I
think they should ban it . Interviewer : Good to know that you want
cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate : No, no… I am talking about
Exams!! Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest
achievement in life?
Candidate : Obviously, completing my
Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it . In fact, when I flunked
in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus
corporation in Maharashtra ) through some
relative. Interviewer : Do you have any plans of
higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding?
Completing ‘lower’ education it self was so
much of pain!! Interviewer : Let’s talk about technical
stuff. On which platforms have you
worked?
Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you
can say Andheri is my current platforms.
Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have
experience of different platforms! (Vashi
and Andheri are the places in Mumbai) Interviewer : And which languages have
you used?
Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the
way, I can keep quiet in German, French,
Russian and many other languages. Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate : It is a common sense – C comes
after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I
heard very soon they are coming up w it h a
new language VD! Interviewer: Do you know anything about
Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it . But
I guess, this is the language our ministers
and MPs use in assembly. Interviewer : What is your general project
experience?
Candidate : My general experience about
projects is – most of the times they are in
pipeline! Interviewer: Can you tell me about your
current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for
Bata Info Tech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am
on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to
think that Bench was another software like Windows. Interviewer : Do you have any project
management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn’t be
difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk
a lot. I know how to dial for International
phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like –
‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hot fixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’,
‘quality’, ‘version control’, ‘deadlines’ ,
‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can
blame others for my mistakes! Interviewer: What are your expectations
from our company?
Candidate : Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand..
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project.
But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects
natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress Code is against basic freedom, so I
would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid
breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year
on short term preferably 1-2 months)
assignments. Personally I prefer US,
Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there are Olympics coming up in
China in the current year, I don’t mind
going there in that period. As you can see I
am modest and don’t have many
expectations. So can I assume my
selection? Interviewer : he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for
your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never
entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS. The fellow was appointed in a newly
created section ‘Stress Management’ in the
HRD of Infosys.